Malls

Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.

Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California

Overheard by: Claustrophobic

Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!

Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas

Overheard by: I love Mommy too

Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!

National Mall
Washington, DC

Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people's butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!

Mall
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: I saw her later stand up…

Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?”
Mom: Uh…what's “pop and switch?”
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That's scary…

JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky

Overheard by: Dohiyi

Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Meaggoo

Little girl to store employee: Do you remember us?
Employee: Yes, of course I do.
Little girl: Oh, no! Run away! He remembers us!

Mission Viejo Mall
Mission Viejo, California

Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?

Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: DazedinPA

Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.

Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Jo

Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.

Rockaway Mall, New Jersey

Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts