Because You're the Big Top, Pee-wee

(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?

Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio

Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks

Posted on August 14, 2015
Default, Gripes, Lesbos, Malls, Ohio, Questions, Sexuality, Toys

Further Evidence That Malls Cause Gayness

Dude to two other dudes: I wouldn't just suck on the tip of it.

Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: browny

Posted on August 11, 2015
Advice, BJs, Malls, Penis, Queers

Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties

Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don’t kiss that!

Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on August 6, 2015
California, Dads, Default, Family, Girls, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, Should have used a condom, Siblings, TV shows

Strangely Less Inappropriate

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 28, 2015
Assholes, Body parts, Default, Etiquette, Hands, Malls, Oregon, Siblings

Who Isn't Picturing Rod and Todd Flanders Right Now?

Small child #1: Hey, daddy, can we go get some ice cream?!
Small child #2: Yeah, daddy, let's have ice cream!
Father: Uh, no. But you can have yogurt drinks. They're basically the same!
Small children: Yay!

West Edmonton Mall
Canadia

Overheard by: Dr. Ruth