Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Little girl to store employee: Do you remember us?
Employee: Yes, of course I do.
Little girl: Oh, no! Run away! He remembers us!
Mission Viejo Mall
Mission Viejo, California
Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?
Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: DazedinPA
Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.
Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jo
Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.
Rockaway Mall, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts
Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.
Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh
Dad to son: I don't need to pay someone 50 cents to tell me that I'm overweight.
Pheasant Lane Mall, New Hampshire
White father: There’s Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell.
Six-year-old son: [no response].
White father: There’s sushi.
Six-year-old son: Aw shizzle!
Food Court, King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Carrie
National Science Foundation lady #1: He said my behavior was willful professional misconduct.
National Science Foundation lady #2: And then what?
National Science Foundation lady #1: I told him to suck my fat black dick.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Creative. What’d he say to that?
National Science Foundation lady #1: He was real calm. He said, A) my comment was vulgar, rude, and highly unprofessional, and B) completely illogical.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Well, he’s got a point, yeah.
National Science Foundation lady #1: If he says another word to me, I’m gonna bust him with a stapler…
Food court, Ballston Mall
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/03/excuse-me-i-believe-you-have-my-stapler.html
