I Knew Those DJ Lessons Were a Poor Idea

White father: There’s Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell.
Six-year-old son: [no response].
White father: There’s sushi.
Six-year-old son: Aw shizzle!

Food Court, King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Carrie

Posted on March 11, 2018
Compare and contrast, Dads, Food, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Whiteys

‘I Believe You Have My Stapler,’ He’ll Say

National Science Foundation lady #1: He said my behavior was willful professional misconduct.
National Science Foundation lady #2: And then what?
National Science Foundation lady #1: I told him to suck my fat black dick.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Creative. What’d he say to that?
National Science Foundation lady #1: He was real calm. He said, A) my comment was vulgar, rude, and highly unprofessional, and B) completely illogical.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Well, he’s got a point, yeah.
National Science Foundation lady #1: If he says another word to me, I’m gonna bust him with a stapler…

Food court, Ballston Mall
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/03/excuse-me-i-believe-you-have-my-stapler.html

Posted on January 8, 2018
Coworkers, Malls, Threats

And Middle-Aged Women Try to Squeeze Into It

(walking past Victoria's Secret PINK)
Goth #1: Dude, that place sells, like, sexy lingerie for 14-year-olds.
Goth #2: Awesome, dude!

Old Orchard Mall
Skokie, Illinois

Posted on May 4, 2017
Default, Goths, Illinois, Kink, Malls, Undies

I'm Just Psyched to Have the Opportunity to Mock It

Tween #1, excitedly: Oh my god! Look, it's High School Musical stuff!
Tween #2: I hate High School Musical.
Tween #1: Oh, well… so do I!

Hickory Hollow Mall
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: i hate it too

Posted on February 18, 2017
Gripes, Malls, Stupidity, Tennessee, TV shows, Tweens

It Was the Best Of News, It Was the Worst Of News

Young girl in stall with mother: Mommy, what's that?
Mother to young girl: It's called pubic hair, sweetie…all women have it. When you get older, someday you will get some.
Young girl, mortified: Nooooooooooo!

Mall Restroom
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Monica

Posted on March 18, 2016
Age and ageing, Hair, Kids, Malls, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Restroom, Should have used a condom, Vagina, Washington, DC

From Another Disturbing Episode Of The Nail Files

Little boy, stopping in front of a nail salon, horrified: Mommy, what are they doing to these people?!

Wal-Mart
Marietta, Georgia

Overheard by: nezuzu

Posted on September 11, 2015
Georgia, Guys, Kids, Malls, Questions, Weirdness

And How You Spent Your Summer Vacation

Black girl on cell: So, uh? So then, you explain what a cracker is to you…

Tacoma Mall, Washington

Overheard by: Troy

Posted on September 6, 2015
Black people, Default, Girls, Malls, On the phone, Race, Washington, Words

Ad: Maybe She's Bored With It, Maybe It's Heroin

Girl #1: Why did they all look at you like you were on heroin?
Girl #2: I don't know. I always act like I am on heroin, but I just take Xanax.

Mall
Virginia

Posted on August 14, 2015
Drugs, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Malls, Questions, Virginia

Because You're the Big Top, Pee-wee

(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?

Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio

Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks

Posted on August 14, 2015
Default, Gripes, Lesbos, Malls, Ohio, Questions, Sexuality, Toys

Further Evidence That Malls Cause Gayness

Dude to two other dudes: I wouldn't just suck on the tip of it.

Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: browny

Posted on August 11, 2015
Advice, BJs, Malls, Penis, Queers