Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans… It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!
Federal Hill, Baltimore
Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans… It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!
Federal Hill, Baltimore
White kid #1: Yo, you think he gay?
Black kid: No, I think you gay.
White kid #2: Yo, how did you know?
White kid #1: I blew him, you idiot.
White kid #2: Did he really?
Black kid: I guess you could call it head.
White kid #2: Where was I when that shit went down?
Black kid: I don’t know, but you woulda done a better job.
Inner Harbor
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Chick: … So she said, ‘Hey, look over here,’ and then she opened her gown and, like, all I saw were these weird big boobs…
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Two-year-old: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy…
Mother, trying to talk to her friend: What?!
Two-year-old, thrusting pizza at her: Blow me!
Mom’s friend: Well, that’s one for the baby book.
Pizza Hut
Maryland
Newbie guy on airplane: What's this?
Female friend: For your entertainment.
Newbie guy: Ooooh! Barf bag!
Washington International Airport
Baltimore, Maryland
Chubby guy on cell: You know it’s bad when Bon Jovi shows up.
Target
Westminster, Maryland
Overheard by: JoviFan4Life
Flamboyant art boy: So all that anal sex meant nothing to you?!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: voltaire
Loud lady to friend: So, have you fallen down in any more parking lots this summer?
Panera Bread
White Marsh, Maryland
Overheard by: just eatin my lunch
Chick: If someone as good-looking as my brother is talking about your vagina, you’re doing something right.
Waffle House
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Stephanie
Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I’m calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna’s
Baltimore, Maryland
