Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Why don't we try to use the formula for finding the location of two galaxies next to one another?
Hipster boy in ironic winter hat: Why would we do that? We're trying to find the age of the universe. You're the worst partner ever.
Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Fuck you, I'm going to find the age of the universe on my own!
Undergraduate Library
University of Michigan
Overheard by: Todd
Dude #1: This street smells like greasy food and whores!
Dude #2: I could go for some greasy food right now.
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: MF
Guy on phone: No I'll never join the navy. (pause) Because me joining the navy would be like Hitler joining the Jewish church!
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Kapti
19-year-old girl on phone in dorm: I have two weeks to have children. I only have one egg left!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Girl to friend: And then they nailed Him to a cross! And we get chocolate eggs for this?
College Campus
Michigan
Leather-clad 30-something man applying for job at sandwich shop: I'm not only a musician, I'm also a martial artist!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Teacher: Okay. Quick review: which Greek gods did we cover on Friday?
Student, seriously: Hermaphrodite? Herpes? Asbestos?
High School
Michigan
Dorm guy: I said “thanks for the help,” but I should have said, “thanks for the help, asshole, I hope they send you back to China.”
Michigan State University
Male ethics professor: I was generally seen as a spoiled little bitch.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Girl #1: I have cows in my head!
Boy: What?
Girl #1: We're playing “Carry on Wayward Son” in orchestra. C-o-w-s.
Boy: Oh.
Girl #2: You really need to tell people that before you tell them you have cows in your head.
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
