You Probably Should Just Finish Up the Bottle

Husband: Can I have one of my pills?
Wife: Didn’t you just take two a little bit ago?
Husband: Just the two you told me I took.

Frankenmuth, Michigan

Posted on July 26, 2020
Comebacks, Couples, Default, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Offers and requests

I'm Still Not Having Your Baby, Curtis

Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!

High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan

Overheard by: The teacher

Posted on July 4, 2020
Animals, Black people, Compare and contrast, Fat people, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Whiteys

Perhaps Another Bong Hit Will Clarify Things

Professor: What does 95% confidence mean?
Weird kid: It means there are 95 parallel universes between the values!
Professor: Well I don't know about that.

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Posted on June 18, 2020
Education, Michigan, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

…The Prince Of Dullness

Wife to husband who has been chatting with stranger: Who was that?
Husband: Remember those Dos Equis commercials with the most interesting man in the world?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: That was his antithesis.

Northern Michigan

Overheard by: Kaptain Equinox

Posted on June 7, 2020
Character, Couples, Memory lane, Michigan, Questions

Case in Point

Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?

Michigan State University, Michigan

Posted on May 29, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Diet & weight, Michigan, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

You Ran Over My Puke!

20-something girl with beer in hand to 20-something guy behind her: I recognize you!
20-something guy: Yeah! You puked on my car!

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on May 28, 2020
Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Weirdness

My Parents Are Native American. What's It to You?

Drunk guy, walking into bathroom: Hey, you are at my pisser!
Sober guy at urinal: I didn't realize your name was “push to flush.”

Bar
Michigan

Overheard by: I wasn't looking

Posted on April 2, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Comebacks, Drunks, Guys, Michigan, Names, Pee, Restroom

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on March 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Kids, Lies, Michigan, Moms, Poop, Questions, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Siblings

Something Grave, Anyway.

Catechism teacher: Where's Eric today?
Eric's friend: Eric's at the hospital with his mom.
Catechism teacher, concerned: Why?
Eric's friend: Cuz she has a tombstone, or something like that.

Rochester Hills, Michigan

Overheard by: Betsy

Posted on February 27, 2020
Education, Friends, Maladies, Michigan, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Words

Not Even Drag Queen Bingo?

Religion professor: Contrary to popular belief, bingo is not a sacrament!

North Central Michigan College

Posted on February 14, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Games, Michigan, Religion, Teachers