Drunk man: Where have you been all my life?
Drunk woman: At the bowling alley!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: L3Gagneur
Drunk man: Where have you been all my life?
Drunk woman: At the bowling alley!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: L3Gagneur
Dude #1: He’s real churchy, but emo, too.
Dude #2: Yeah, totally ‘What-Would-Jesus-Cut?’
Sikeston, Missouri
White trash mother, hurrying five-year-old out of bathroom: C'mon, let's go!
Five-year-old: But I want to wash my hands!
White trash mother: (sighs) Fine, but make it quick.
Five-year-old: Yay!
Lamberts Cafe
Sikeston, Missouri
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Loud fat ghetto chick to baby: See dat? See dat baby walking? That's what you need to be doing. I'm sick of carrying yo' ass around.
Target Parking Lot
Florissant, Missouri
Student, discussing a character’s problems: It’s like he’s in between a needle and some bread.
Teacher: … Do you mean a rock and a hard place?
English Class, Hazelwood West High School
Florissant, Missouri
Guy #1: So yeah, you can get in the water with them but you can’t touch the manatees unless they swim up to you.
Guy #2: Sort of like a strip club.
Bar
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
Guy: Yeah, it’s like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it’s called, like… Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don’t even have those in Boston.
Diner
St. Louis, Missouri
Hot nerd chick: So, I didn’t sleep with him. He was just too attractive — I’d feel self-conscious.
Friend: But hot girls sleep with ugly guys all the time! It’s your duty to even the score.
Hot nerd chick: Yeah… Wait, you think I’m ugly?
Joplin, Missouri
Girl #1: One time, this Colombian dude was hitting on me…
Girl #2, interrupting: What? Like from Columbia, Missouri?
Girl #1: No. This country–he was like Arab or something.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: A.
Substitute teacher to class: I have a theory that everything in the world is derived from grilled cheese sandwiches.
Student: What about things made out of meat? You know, like animals and people?
Substitute teacher: That's where my theory ends.
High School, Missouri
Overheard by: can's wait to graduate
