And That Was the Extent of My “Birds and Bees” Talk

Mom holding two tomatoes stuck together: Look, tomato twins!
Daughter: Oh my god! I love them!
Mom: They look like balls! [Laughs] Boy balls! [Walks away].
Daughter: Oh my god.

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

Posted on July 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Fruit, Girls, Gripes, Missouri, Moms

Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.

Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners… right?

Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York

Overheard by: Ldawg

Posted on July 4, 2020
Compare and contrast, Food, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Questions, Sexuality

Translation: “Welcome to New York, Muthafuckaaaas.”

MTA worker to tourist mom buying tickets with daughter: 10 dollars.
Mom: Oh, but she's a student.
Worker, looking at daughter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dollars please.

Subway Station
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom

Posted on July 3, 2020
Compliments, Default, Education, Employees, Moms, Money, New York, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Tourists, Women

Hope You Bitches Saved Me Some Weed

Mom: Why is the tv on with the mute on?
Daughter #1: Cause of the pretty moving pictures!
Daughter #2: Yeah! It's like an aquarium, but with Tom Hanks.

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on July 3, 2020
About celebrities, Beauty, Default, Girls, Moms, New Zealand, Questions, Technology, Women

It’s More Like a Museum of Strangers’ Poo, Honey

Little girl, inside port-a-potty: Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy: Just be quiet and go potty.
Little girl: Mommy, do you know what it feels like in here? It’s like a little house where I’ll always be protected.

Renaissance Festival
Maryland

Overheard by: Nancy Whiskey

Posted on June 16, 2020
Girls, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Maryland, Moms, Poop

Because That Upcoming Chess Tournament Won’t Win Itself

Mom to little kid: How was Tae Kwon Do, honey? Did you learn how to break someone’s nose?

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/04/cute-soccer-mom-picking-up-cute-little.html

Overheard by: jeff

Posted on June 8, 2020
Moms, Overheard Lines, Questions

I'm Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong

Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it's purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on May 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Georgia, Girls, Moms, Movies, Questions, Teens, Train, Women

At the Hermaphroditic Contortionist Children's Support Group

Five-year-old girl, pointing at store window: Balls!
Young mom: That's right honey, those are balls, but you ate your balls, huh?
Five-year-old girl: I ate my balls!

Buffalo, New York

Posted on May 23, 2020
Balls, Food, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Shopping

Every Time I Try That, I Lose Some Memory

Mom: Arrrrgh. My brain just isn’t working today!
Eight-year-old (deadpan): Did you try turning it off and on again?

Steveston
Canadia

Overheard by: laughing sangria out my nose

Posted on May 14, 2020
Advice, Canadia, Default, Gripes, Kids, Moms, Questions, Technology

I'm Beginning to Regret Letting You Steal Me from That Playground

Four-year old: But I want to go in there!
Frazzled mother: No! Let's go, we have to get home.
Four-year old (crying): You aren't the right mother for me!

Berlin
Germany

Posted on April 20, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Germany, Gripes, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Wishes

Moms