Moms

Woman visiting Seattle with daughters: Guess what daddy is doing down in Portland right now!
Four-year-old girl: Going to a bar?

Seattle, Washington

Six-year-old boy: What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's!
Mother: Ssssshhhhhhhhh!

Wal-Mart
Grand Junction, Colorado

Overheard by: Vanessa

60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying “Easter”?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying “ass”! For saying “ass” on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?

Grandma's house
Illinois

Precocious five-year-old girl: Lipstick! Lipstick! I want lipstick!
Harried mother: Okay, fine, you can pick out one lip gloss. But your father will get really mad if he finds out, because he says…
Precocious five-year-old girl: I know, he says, “we shouldn't waste money, blah blah blah…”

Target Cosmetics Section
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Becca

Mom: Do you know what next Wednesday is?
Three-year-old son: Friday!

Country Club
Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: Annie Tewkesbury

Adopted Chinese daughter: I just wish we looked more alike.
Mother: Aw, you wish you looked more like me?
Adopted Chinese daughter: No, I wish you looked more like me.

Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: kellerz

Very white mom: “The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round…” Sing with me, honey.
Very white four-year old daughter: “Rollin' down the street smokin'…”

Walt Disney World
Orlando, Florida

50-something mom: It was the first time I've ever heard Brian* call uncle Ned* a prick!
20-something son: Mom!
50-something mom: I don't even know what that is, a prick.
20-something son: Don't worry about it.
50-something mom: Well, Brian's right. Ned is a prick, whatever that is.

Woodbridge, Virginia

Overheard by: Cols

Little girl walking behind mom: Mom, did you hit me in the head with your phone!
Mom: No, I didn't, I don't even have my phone out! (looks down at hand) Oh, yes I do. Did it hurt?

Eskimo Joe's
Stillwater, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Cameron

Little boy (loudly): I want to eat poop.
Mom (who clearly wasn't paying attention): What, honey?
Little boy: I would like to eat poop.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: JessH.