Overweight mom with toddler: Then he found out he was a hermaphrodite, a boy cursed with the body of a woman. He grew up never knowing…never knowing a thing.
Overweight friend: Wouldn't ya know?
Seattle's Best Coffee
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: All You Can Eat
Kid: Can we go yet? Why are we shopping for luggage here, anyway?
Mom: Because I'm leaving your father.
Department Store
Altamonte Springs, Florida
Overheard by: Voip
(outside Abercrombie & Fitch)
Little boy, pointing at picture of shirtless male model: Look mommy, nipples!
Mother: Yes, honey, nipples. We aren't supposed to be looking at nipples.
Rockaway Townsquare Mall
Rockaway Township, New Jersey
Overheard by: We Aren't?
Mom: Honey, don't eat your boogers!
Two-year-old: But mommy, I like them!
Mom, exasperated: Go to your dad.
Supermarket
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Ryskie
Six-year-old boy: I want flan. I want flan, mom. I want flan. I've never tried it before. Can we get flan?
Mother: Okay, you need to stop being so annoying.
Six-year-old boy: Maybe.
Supermarket
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrienne
Woman visiting Seattle with daughters: Guess what daddy is doing down in Portland right now!
Four-year-old girl: Going to a bar?
Seattle, Washington
Six-year-old boy: What happens at grandma's stays at grandma's!
Mother: Ssssshhhhhhhhh!
Wal-Mart
Grand Junction, Colorado
Overheard by: Vanessa
60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying “Easter”?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying “ass”! For saying “ass” on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?
Grandma's house
Illinois
Precocious five-year-old girl: Lipstick! Lipstick! I want lipstick!
Harried mother: Okay, fine, you can pick out one lip gloss. But your father will get really mad if he finds out, because he says…
Precocious five-year-old girl: I know, he says, “we shouldn't waste money, blah blah blah…”
Target Cosmetics Section
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
Mom: Do you know what next Wednesday is?
Three-year-old son: Friday!
Country Club
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Annie Tewkesbury
