Pregnant mother to son: Stop throwing daddy's meat around!
Outback Steakhouse
Parsippany, New Jersey
Pregnant mother to son: Stop throwing daddy's meat around!
Outback Steakhouse
Parsippany, New Jersey
Guy: I'm not exactly awake yet. Hence the espresso. (holds up cup)
Girl: Oh, you should pour it all over yourself!
Guy: I think that would be contrary to waking up.
Girl: No, no. You'd absorb the caffeine into your skin, and you'd become Awake Man! And your arch-nemesis would be the Sandman, and… and… stuff.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Drunk dude to girl: You will get absolutely no penis in your life! None!
Transit Train
New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
Girl, flabbergasted: Everyone's birthday is in March?
Boyfriend: Yeah. My grandma's birthday is in June. It's the only time she really has sex. It's her birthday present.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Women studies professor, during discussion about nymphomaniacs: Ladies, are there any of you who are in a constant state of arousal?
Class: (uncomfortable silence)
Professor: Let me rephrase that. Are you constantly ready to engage in sex?
Student, alarmed: Professor, I don't think any of us are comfortable with answering this question.
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Boyfriend to girlfriend: If anyone ever walked in on us having sex, they'd swear we hate each other.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Girl #1: So what's up with those boots you bought this weekend? You don't look like the type to wear them.
Girl #2: Uh, Tim* wanted me to buy them.
Girl #1: Oh, that's right. I almost forgot about his boot fetish.
Girl #2: And I'm pretty sure he wants me to wear them. And nothing else.
Girl #1, sighing wistfully: I wish I had a hot relationship like that! All I have is slut sex!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Girl: My stomach hurts…
Guy: Maybe you should stop having so much butt sex.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Student emerging from bathroom to self: I hate those frickin' androids…
Brookdale Community College
New Jersey
Overheard by: Whiskeysaurus
Boyfriend, pressing girlfriend's nose with thumb: Hmmm. I don't think I'd date you if you looked like this.
New Jersey
