40-something guy: Dr. Phil man, he showed up for Britney, maybe he'll show up for me.
Airport Baggage Claim
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sarah
40-something guy: Dr. Phil man, he showed up for Britney, maybe he'll show up for me.
Airport Baggage Claim
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sarah
Teen girl: If I saw a really crazy sandcastle, I'd totally kick it down. Anyone would.
Teen sister: I would never, like, mess something up like that if someone was really good at something. Unless they were really good at something I hated. Like… being ugly.
Rumson, New Jersey
Stoner girl #1: What happens at Christian retreats?
Stoner girl #2: You pray and reflect.
Stoner girl #1: Oh. So no beer, then?
Stoner girl #2: Definitely no beer.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Teenage girl: I'm pretty sure dead people don't have to eat.
Rumson, New Jersey
Saleswoman: Have a nice day!
Irritated customer: I've already made other plans.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Steve
Woman on intercom: Would Joe Smithson please report to the guidance office? (pause) Please? Seriously, please, please, please, just come… please.
High School
New Jersey
Overheard by: Miss Fabulous
Woman to mother being slapped in the rear by little boy: Oooh, your son is bad!
Mother: Yeah, I think he's gonna be an ass man when he grows up!
Jersey City
New Jersey
Teenage girl: Blowjobs are lesbian sex.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Nerd #1 to another: How do you write “dd” in hexadecimal again? I forget…
(they turn to look at fat woman walking by)
Nerd #2: I would not write a dissertation on her boobs. No way.
PATH Train
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: I wouldn't either
Girl on cell: But I really ruined his life. I mean, what should I do? (pause) Should I, like, text him and say, “I'm sorry for ruining your life”?
Cold Stone Creamery
New Jersey
