Old man: I recently had surgery. What was it I had removed? Something that starts with a ‘P’…
Old lady: Was it your pancreas?
Old man: No… It wasn’t my penis, either, because I definitely still have that.
L.L. Bean Outlet
Wareham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amanda
Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we’ll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That’s not what I meant.
Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang
Australia
Guy at ID counter: I’m sorry. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Old lady: I’d rather shoot the police…
http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com/2006/10/uhhh.html
Overheard by: tom
Elderly man to elderly gaggle: Why’s everyone wasting their time trying to raise money for Africa? Africa’s a wretched country.
Max’s German Restaurant
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
Old lady to old man, as breakfast is served: Today has been an interesting day. Somebody ate half my pancake!
Morgantown, West Virginia
Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don’t like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You’ll be fine, grandma. Come on!
Universal Studios
Florida
Boy, to teenage girl: Hi, Lisa.
Old man, entering: Hi.
Cafe
Eugene, Oregon
Old dude to another, reminiscing: You still got that briefcase with all that underwear in it?
Kansas City, Missouri
Old man: Are you going somewhere exciting?
Girl with suitcase: Not really. But when I get there, I’m getting laid.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/05/friendly-skies.html
Overheard by: aaron
Old woman: It’s like flowers were spitting out of my ass, so don’t go telling me how bright and shiny your (makes finger quotes) “effing” life is!
Small Town
Nebraska
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
