Teenage boy #1: I just get so nervous when she touches me, man. I think I’m ready to tell her how I feel.
Teenage boy #2: No, no, no, dude! Wait till she plays with your hair. When she plays with your hair, that’s love.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/310713851/this-is-freakin-adorable.html
Overheard by: a sure sign
Dude: Yeah, you know how it be. I’ll check ya later. Yo, this is Tylenol, I’m out!
http://ohinmpls.blogspot.com/2006/10/rude-drunk-man-on-number-6-on-cell.html
Overheard by: gee and drew
Call center girl to coworker who just hung up: Did he tell you he was going to come over here and rub one off?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/325426424/at-least-he-gave-you-a-head-start.html
Overheard by: keep him away from my potato salad
Middle-aged woman, on sex offenders: Those people should just be pasteurized.
Teen daughter: Pasteurized?
Woman: Yeah, you know. Pasteurized.
Daughter: No, mom. I don't think that's what you mean.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/430097826/it-might-work.html
Overheard by: that might be just as effective
Male wedding-goer to female wedding-goer: Oh, you guys work here? Excellent! My sister's husband, oh, I mean my brother-in-law, sells semen. Bull semen.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412831/you-know-in-case-youre-in-the-market.html
Overheard by: best pick-up line ever
Office building tenant: Oh, and I just wanted to let you know there was a fire in the dumpster last week. I looked for the security guard in the building, but couldn't find him. I didn't know who else to notify, so I just went home.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/420134135/thats-the-documented-procedure.html
Overheard by: how about 911?
Wannabe cowboy on cell: Dude, I gotta tell you about my STD from the silent film era! (long pause) Okay, ready? Okay: I made out with a chick who was 52 years old!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/363455312/chick.html
Overheard by: hope she had a charlie chaplin mustache
College girl, while listening to Hang Me Out To Dry: Dude, I just pictured my tampon singing this song!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732219/taking-recycling-too-far.html
Overheard by: a. Lil
Pouting newlywed wife: I feel like we don't spend enough time together.
Seething newlywed husband: (grinds teeth)
Pouting newlywed wife: Enough quality time.
Seething newlywed husband: (remains silent)
Pouting newlywed wife: Would you like me to tell you what quality time is?
Seething newlywed husband: (about to speak, thinks better of it)
Pouting newlywed wife: 23 hours a day.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465741992/one-hour-is-plenty-of-time-for-a-lot-of-drugs.html
Overheard by: good, that leaves one hour for him to think of a response
Woman: I gotta smoke as much as I can before May 30th, ’cause after that it’s bad for the baby.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/shes_bad_for_the_baby.html
