Girl wearing “save a horse, ride a bride” t-shirt, during bachelorette party: I loved the penis toss!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Kevin Gordish
Drunk guy: I'm so happy I'm a guy. I don't have to wipe after I pee.
Tipsy girl: You should really wipe if you want Lisa* to suck your dick.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Jeff: If I was gay I would whip out my dick right now… which I'm about to do.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Overheard by: Scott
Young woman: And if he's still giving you mixed signals, he can just go suck his own dick.
Frustrated friend: That's the point! If he'd give me a clear sign, I'd do it for him!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Professor: Okay, guys, let's stop talking about penises.
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Man in truck to woman in car: Hey there–you want a steak?
Woman: What? No.
Man: Even if it was in a box?
Woman: No, thanks, I'm cool.
Stoplight
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl: So my jaw hurts really bad, right here. (points)
Boy: Maybe you stop sucking so much dick.
Girl, thinking for a second: Many dicks.
Bennington College
Vermont
