But I Didn't Back Up Over It. That's Gay.

English major #1: So, I totally ran over a snake today.
English major #2: Was it an anaconda?
English major #1: I don't know… It was a snake!
English major #3: Was it a grass snake?
English major #2: Was it a trouser snake?
English major #1: Yes. I ran over a penis.

Southern Illinois University
Edwardsville, Edwardsville, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Posted on June 2, 2010
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Illinois, Penis, Students

If It Doesn't Happen Soon, We'll Get the Sack for Sure.

Male teacher to another: Hey, I still haven't gotten those wiener cages from you.

High School
West Linn, Oregon

Overheard by: scott

Posted on May 18, 2010
Food, Oregon, Penis, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

The Zac Efron Movie That Should Be Made

Teenage boy, shrieking: He touched my penis! He touched my penis! And I'm gay! I'm gay!

Charleston, South Carolina

Posted on April 19, 2010
Penis, Queers, Sexuality, South Carolina, Teens

At Least Call It the “Cocktagon,” Dude.

Tipsy guy to friend: Of course I have a nickname for my penis. I call it “the octagon.”

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Sick Fatty

Posted on January 29, 2010
Canadia, Drunks, Guys, Names, Penis, Weirdness

Some Biology Teachers Really Know How to Make Learning Fun

Girl wearing “save a horse, ride a bride” t-shirt, during bachelorette party: I loved the penis toss!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Kevin Gordish

Posted on January 10, 2010
Girls, Indiana, Penis, Sex, Weirdness

She's Awfully Peesnickety

Drunk guy: I'm so happy I'm a guy. I don't have to wipe after I pee.
Tipsy girl: You should really wipe if you want Lisa* to suck your dick.

Bayonne, New Jersey

Posted on December 24, 2009
BJs, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Pee, Penis, Sexuality, Stupidity, Wishes

How Come We Didn't Have Logic Questions Like This in High School?

Jeff: If I was gay I would whip out my dick right now… which I'm about to do.

Plainsboro, New Jersey

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on December 17, 2009
New Jersey, Penis, Queers, Sexuality

I'm Beginning to Regret Making Smoke-Signals Our Primary Form Of Communication

Young woman: And if he's still giving you mixed signals, he can just go suck his own dick.
Frustrated friend: That's the point! If he'd give me a clear sign, I'd do it for him!

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Posted on December 13, 2009
BJs, Friends, Girls, Oklahoma, Penis

We Always Thought They Went to Smith

Girl, entering the library with a large phallic diorama: People! Where do the vaginas go?

Public Library
Eugene, Oregon

Posted on December 4, 2009
Girls, Oregon, Penis, Questions, Vagina

…You All Have Your Paper Mache Assignment.

Professor: Okay, guys, let's stop talking about penises.

Metro State College
Denver, Colorado

Posted on December 1, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Education, Penis, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Penis