Psychology teacher, collecting test papers: Do I have all the testes?
High School
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Slips of the Freudian variety
Guy: If you had to suck a bag of dicks, would you want them to be hard or soft?
Girl: Soft! So I can fit them all in my mouth.
Guy: Well, I'd rather have them erect.
Girl: Oh! Uh. Why?
Guy: Cause there'd be less dicks in the bag.
Girl: What?! Why didn't I think of that?! Now I just sound like a whore!
Guy: You are.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Supervisor, looking at sole of kid's shoe: Hey, is that a Hannah Montana shoe?
Seven-year-old kid: Yeah. I don't like Hannah Montana, though. I just bought these so I could step on her face all day.
Calgary
Canadia
Man: What do you want for Christmas?
Chubby boy: Meatloaf.
Brownstone Diner
Jersey City, New Jersey
Old broad #1: Well, you heard that they froze his semen, right?
Old broad #2, gasping: Really?
Old broad #1: Of course! I mean, Susan* would love to have more children with Thomas*, you know, but on account of the cancer, it just makes things a little difficult.
Old broad #2: That's so sweet…
Salon
Madison, Wisconsin
Pretty hipster in lab: It's cold in here and it's also not hot outside.
Pretty nerd in lab: Shouldn't the thrill of science keep you warm?
Pretty hipster in lab: That's such a stupid thing to say…
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Warm for Science
Female college girl: She asked me “what's a vagina?”
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Toy store employee: Wait, so which one has the butthole?
Mall
New Jersey
Overheard by: thinking of the children
Professor: Do you ever wonder why men have nipples? Men use their large chests to attract women, like peacocks. But why the nipples? It's not like someone's going to be sucking on my nipple…
Oswego, New York
