Girl to friend: So, I was just walkin' along and you know what that squirrel did?
Friend: What?
Girl: It threw a nut at my head!
Southern Illinois
Girl to friend: So, I was just walkin' along and you know what that squirrel did?
Friend: What?
Girl: It threw a nut at my head!
Southern Illinois
Asian teenage girl: Wait, so did Jesus ejaculate wine?
Starbucks
Red Bank, New Jersey
Confused tourist lady, looking at anime convention kids in costume: Excuse me? Do you know what all of this is about?
Local: Yeah, the whack-job convention is in town.
Confused tourist lady: The…the…”whack-job” convention? (looks at costumes) Whack-jobs?
Local: (smacks forehead and turns away)
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Sarah Boyd
Man in stall on cell: Hey! It's me, do you want to talk dirty? (pause) Oh, okay. I'll let you watch your show.
Coral Springs, Florida
Tall balding guy: You know how you can eat so much and be so full that when you take a piss you can't even see your dick?
Friend: No.
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: could not stop laughing
New Jersey guy #1: Dude, I bet Mother Teresa's pussy was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
New Jersey guy #2: Is that the bitch from the maple syrup bottle?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Cougar Bear
Guy: So how are you? How was your trip?
Girl: It was sooooo much fun!
Guy: Really? What did you do?
Girl: Oh, I don't know. Nothing really.
Millennium Park
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sarah
20-something guy #1: So you don't have to pee?
20-something guy #2: No man, never. It's fucking weird.
20-something guy #1: Yeah, I have to pee like, every hour. (both laugh)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Punk girl: For some reason, everything you do makes sense when you're in only your panties.
Purple-haired girl: I know, right? It makes sense to me too!
Tall greaser guy: In fact, it wouldn't make sense if you weren't only in your panties.
Bakersfield, California
