Student #1, pointing to answer on a map quiz: Why did I get this wrong?
Student #2: That's Canada, you labeled it the USA.
Student #1: But we own them, the professor said so.
Student #2: Figuratively.
Student #1: Well, that's misinforming!
Cafe, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio
Chick: Has anyone seen the bottle of fake blood?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Trolley driver, approaching Bush Street: Anyone for Bush? Then get off! Anyone? Anyone? (no one moves) Thank god!
San Francisco, California
100-pound, totally fit wife: I am pretty sure I have elevated sodium levels.
Husband: Your sodium levels are fine, honey.
100-pound, totally fit wife: No, I really think they are high enough to put me in the at-risk category.
Husband: What are you basing that on, exactly?
100-pound, totally fit wife: My tongue feels oversalted.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
Daughter at video store: What about this one, mom?
Mom: You pick crap! I'm getting you an animated movie!
Rodanthe, North Carolina
Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Woman to four-year-old daughter: Do not touch anything. Do you know what will happen if you touch something?
Little girl: You'll smack me in the face!
Liquor Store
New Jersey
Stoned girl #1: We should go to Tops Yogurt soon!
Stoner girl #2 to stoned guy: Yeah! You should come!
Stoned guy: Why Tops? Why not bottoms?
Stoned girls, in unison: Yeah! Why Tops? Why not bottoms?!
Sacramento, California
Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?
Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Deanna Gustav
