Little girl, waiting for a ride home from school: What is my mother doing that's more important than me?
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Little girl, waiting for a ride home from school: What is my mother doing that's more important than me?
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mouse
Teacher: Where does the friar discover the bloodstains in the tomb?
Student #1: In the kitchen!
Teacher: There's no kitchen in a tomb.
Student #2: Well, dead people got to eat too!
Student #3: No they don't, stupid!
Student #4: Wait, don't people get hungry when they die?
9th Grade English Class
Louisiana
Overheard by: Is it Summer Vacation Yet?
Instructor to swim class: Okay, who can tell me one thing we can wear to protect ourselves from the sun?
Three-year-old boy, after much thought: Teeth!
YMCA
Easton, Pennsylvania
Girl #1: I wish there were swing sets at college.
Girl #2: I know. Spain better have swing sets.
Girl #1: For when you're abroad?
Girl #2: No, just in general.
Claremont, California
Overheard by: swinging
Terrifyingly cheerful woman, handing out christian pamphlets at bus stop: Hello! Would you like something to read on the bus?
Girl, already reading large book: I'm, uh…I'm already…
Crazy looking hobo, scoffing and muttering to girl: People can be insane.
Los Angeles, California
Thug #1, in restroom stall: Oh, shit!
Thug #2, outside restroom: What's goin' on?
Thug #1: Why's it bleeding? It's bleeding! Why's it bleeding?!
Thug #2: Yo, you better wash your goddamn hands after you done in there.
Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Dack
Three-year-old girl: Did you hear about the baby that ate shirts?
Three-year-old boy #1: Did you hear about the baby that ate hats?
Three-year-old boy #2: Did you hear about the baby that ate people?
Denver, Colorado
Chick: I was in your area during lunch and thought about asking you to meet me for a quickie.
Dude: What the fuck? And you didn't, because…?
Chick: I had to drive some coworkers back to the city. Wasn't sure what to do with them while we copulated.
Dude: Do what my parents did, sit them down in front of the tv, turn on Sesame Street and turn it up!
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Sorority girl #1: Oh my god! I am like, not okay. I am not okay.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, are you okay?
Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'm okay. But do you see me? I am not okay!
Bathroom, Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: just trying to pee
Anatomy professor, turning up lights: Wake up, it's the male reproductive system! How many times have you heard that before? (class laughter) Hopefully not many times before.
UNC
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
