Obnoxious teenage boy: No, that guy's really weird. I mean, did you hear what he did last year?
Friends: No.
Obnoxious teenage boy: He took a slice of cheese and two pieces of ham. Then he got a pair of socks and he put them in an aquarium…
Eugene, Oregon
Man to daughter entering race: So, do you have to quack while you run, or…how does that work?
4th of July Parade
Brighton, Michigan
Overheard by: Tonya
Little boy: I wanna be a duck.
Mother: You wanna be a duck?
Little boy: Yeah, so I can walk around with my eyes closed.
Australia
Girl #1: So Gabby's RA was telling her that someone shat on the carpet in the hallway the other night.
Girl #2: Wait, were they drunk or something?
Girl #1: I would think so. It was nighttime.
Drake University
Des Moines, Iowa
Male professor: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Female professor: Yes!
Male professor: That is neat.
Oaxaca
Mexico
Overheard by: entiendo
Hot girl to random girl: Have you read or seen He's Not That Into You?
Random girl, to uninterested guy: No.
Hot girl: Well, I highly recommend you read it!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: he really wasn't
Dude on streetcar: Anybody on the bus got a newspaper?
Friend: Dude, this is a streetcar.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Glad this town has transit options
Girl #1: So, during history I was blowing bubbles with my gum and…
Girl #2: Who's bubbles?
Girl #1 (continuing, uninterrupted): I got it all over my glasses just as my history teacher looks at me! He just stood up there laughing for a good five minutes, and no one knew what he was laughing at because I managed to get it back in my mouth before anyone could see.
Girl #2: Wait, what?
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Preppy girl: It's like eating pickle juice.
Guy: Like pickle juice?
Friend: How fucking stupid are you?
Rockford, Illinois
