American guy carrying cake box: And the 911 operator just hears “you fucking whore!” and the line goes dead. Seven hours later, the cops show up.
Incredulous Asian girl: And they were all dead?
American guy: Oh yeah, all of 'em were dead. That's why you're much better off being middle class in this country, health-wise.
London
England
Overheard by: Jai
Hipster girl to friend, looking at DVDs: Hey, you know my friend Stephanie, whose boyfriend I made out with, Corey? His favorite movie was A Walk to Remember. He admitted it and everything.
Hipster friend, touching hipster friend's head: You have a really soft scalp.
Hipster girl: That means I'll never lose my hair. Oh! The Breakfast Club!
Edgewood Target
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I didn't make out with him
Midshipman: It's midgets, sir.
Skeptical lieutenant: Is it like albino midgets or something?
Midshipman: No, sir, regular midgets.
Skeptical lieutenant: Oh well…okay, then.
NROTC Classroom
Atlanta, Georgia
Tall brunette: Hey…have you seen my portable soup transporter?
Short blonde (in disbelief): You mean a cup?
Tall brunette: Yeah…that.
Lower Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Seriously worried
Zookeeper: We have three types of penguins: Humboldt, Emperor, and Macaroni.
Small child watching zookeeper: Are there African American penguins?
Zookeeper, clearly flustered: Er…well…there are penguins from many countries and continents…
Milwaukee County Zoo
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Not a penguin racist
20-something to friend: How much next are you?
Wal-Mart
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Black student: Where's the ethnic section?
White librarian: The what?
Black student: The ethnic section…you know, where all the books by black people are.
White librarian: We don't have an ethnic section, dear. You'll have to browse the shelves.
Longview College, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl #1, hearing lightning beep: What was that?
Girl #2: It's totally the sound that goes off when you're about to be killed by lightning.
Girl #1: Oh my god, I would totally laugh about that, except for my friend totally got struck by lightning this summer.
Fort Collins, Colorado State University
Overheard by: J-Rock
Female shopper, surveying bathing suits: The crotch in this looks a little, uh…narrow. Tiny, actually. I feel like it doesn't provide full coverage.
Sales girl: I know. It's sort of the style now, though.
Female shopper: What do you mean, “style”? My labia showing?
Other shopper, walking up: Yeah, I agree. I don't want my vagina suddenly falling out at the beach.
American Apparel, Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa
Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?
Ross
Melbourne, Florida
