Girl #1: You're more likely to have a boy if the guy hasn't masturbated in awhile.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, my professor said so!
Sather Gate
UC Berkeley, California
Girl #1: You're more likely to have a boy if the guy hasn't masturbated in awhile.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, my professor said so!
Sather Gate
UC Berkeley, California
Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were… While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's…what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh…your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.
San Francisco, California
Girl in math class: I mean, seriously. I've been pissing all over these quizzes lately.
Friend: I know, right? Me too.
Michigan State University
20-year-old female emo: So basically, after hours of arguing outside his house, I was so fed up I told him to fucking suck my dick.
30-year-old female friend: Wow, what happened after that?
20-year-old female emo: I left. He was being such a fucking cunt. I wanted to piss in his mouth. He made me drive home drunk!
30-year-old female friend: He could at least offer to like, let you spend the night.
20-year-old female friend: Like, I don't even know, he's such a bitch boyfriend. I honestly hopes he gets the herpes.
30-year-old female friend: You have such a dirty mouth.
20-year-old female emo: Oh, is my lipstick smudged or something?
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Second grade teacher: Okay, so if you are what you eat, what food would you be?
Student #1: Cake!
Student #2: Candy!
Student #3: Beer!
Second grade teacher: No, you can’t choose that. It’s illegal for you to drink beer.
Student #3: But I drink it all the time!
St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia
Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.
Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh
Slutty teen in very short skirt (yelling): Yo,what time is it?
Drunk passerby : (shows watch on wrist)
Slutty teen (indignantly): Like, I don't do analogue, bitch!
Ottawa
Canadia
Brunette: Are you getting him something for Christmas?
Blonde: Why would I?
Brunette: I don't know, I thought you were close!
Blonde: Christmas present? He's Jewish!
Brunette: Ohhhh.
Kent State University
Kent, Ohio
20-something guy that obviously just woke up: So, do you think we'll have enough money to apply for college later today?
20-something girlfriend, also still bed-headed and yawning: Are you kidding me? It's 5 am and we're stoned. We'll talk about this later.
Bus
Dallas, Texas
Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.
Rural Staffordshire
England
