Annoyed wife trying on unattractive skirt: So what do you think?
Husband, with baby: It looks nice.
Annoyed wife, returning to dressing room: What do you know?
Husband to baby: Son, you have no chance.
Old Navy
South Carolina
Overheard by: Kempii
Annoyed wife trying on unattractive skirt: So what do you think?
Husband, with baby: It looks nice.
Annoyed wife, returning to dressing room: What do you know?
Husband to baby: Son, you have no chance.
Old Navy
South Carolina
Overheard by: Kempii
College boy #1: Well dude, is she hot?
College boy #2: She's like my best friend, dude, but you'll probably think she's hot. I mean she's got huge tits, but she's my best friend.
Winona State University
Winona, Minnesota
Professor: How does a microwave work?
Student: Electromagnetic waves.
Professor: Oh, “electromagnetic waves”! That's a fancy way of saying “magic.”
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Magician
Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.
Rockaway Mall, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts
Teenage girl: Mom, you have to buy me this book!
Mom: No, I don't, and I shan't.
Teenage girl: You what?
Mom: I shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Yes. Shan't.
Teenage girl: That's a word?
Mom: Yes.
Teenage girl: What's it mean?
Mom: It's a contraction of “shall not”, as in “I shan't buy you that book.”
Teenage girl: Ugh, fine! Enough shan'ting already!
Borders Bookstore
Olathe, Kansas
Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early…he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!
Miami University, Florida
Overheard by: bad mental picture
Middle aged female client: You aren't going to find out the sex? How are you going to know what color to paint the nursery or what kind of baby clothes to get?
Pregnant 30-something hair stylist: Oh, please, like it matters what colors I choose. People aren't going to be wondering if it's a girl or a boy, anyway; they're going to wonder if it's an animal or a baby.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/366035301/dear-penthouse.html
Overheard by: jenc17
Girl during evolution lab in biology: So, humans came from monkeys, right? So, if two monkeys had a baby and it was a human, like, what would we do with it?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/292935894/put-it-in-biology-class.html
Overheard by: we would name it tarzan.
(tiny girl sneaks behind a big, tall guy for a hug)
Big guy, startled: Whoa! Why did you hug me from behind?
Tiny girl: You told me you don't like hugging me from the front because my vagina touches you!
UC Irvine, California
Male student, about an exam: What do we have to know about the external parts of the female reproductive system?
Professor: Everything! Not just for the exam, but for yourself! All of you!
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Marina
