Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!
Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
International Trade professor: This may seem counter-intuitive, but why would any country agree to something that would make it worse off? Just like my first marriage, it happens.
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/
Girl #1: So I was, like, in this hot tub with this guy, and we’re, like, making out or whatever.
Girl #2: Uh-huh…
Girl #1: And then I go, ‘What’s your name?’ And I think he said something, but I was like, ‘Whatever.’
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html
Overheard by: alex b.
Girl: He was 26, I was 18. I liked him until I found out he was a loser.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/halloween-mania-part-2.html/
Overheard by: anonymous
Guy on phone: Hold on a minute, I just have to cut something off my daughter…
Jersey City, New Jersey
Abusive downstairs neighbor to girlfriend trying to break up with him: I haven't called you a bitch or a cunt in ages and I am proud of that!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Nicole
Girl on phone: All right, bye. I love you sometimes.
Durham, North Carolina
Guy #1: So how was work?
Guy #2: I didn't go.
Guy #1: Oh, take a day off, did you?
Guy #2: Well, I went to Erin*'s house to see if she wanted to talk to my boss about getting a job but she was still asleep, and she looked cute, so I joined her.
Guy #1: Good excuse.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Girl in next aisle: Spanish doctor, pregnant nurse! Oh, snap!
Barnes & Noble
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Girl to friend: I love him. I just want to clean his teeth, I sent him that in a message on MySpace, you know.
Pantages Theatre
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Juicetine
