Suit #1, very seriously: And she was totally fixated on Martha. So I said to Martha, who swings both ways, you know, I said: “this girl is in serious need of some fanny,” but the trouble is, she's found god.
Suit #2: The worst coitus interruptus in the world! That Martha's a complete nutjob, though.
Bookstore
Liverpool
England
Stoner: If I had a brother–and he and your sister got married– I would go over to their house all the time, and eat their food.
Great Falls, Montana
Girl, discussing the penis of Jon from Watchmen: I mean, I heard from someone that they actually made it smaller, so guys wouldn't feel embarrassed when they saw it on screen.
TA: Actually, they enhanced it.
Girl: What? Damn it, I wanted to marry him…
Whittier College
Whittier, California
Overheard by: Sam. the blind
Hipster girl to friend, looking at DVDs: Hey, you know my friend Stephanie, whose boyfriend I made out with, Corey? His favorite movie was A Walk to Remember. He admitted it and everything.
Hipster friend, touching hipster friend's head: You have a really soft scalp.
Hipster girl: That means I'll never lose my hair. Oh! The Breakfast Club!
Edgewood Target
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I didn't make out with him
Lecturer: You just want to drag and drop this, like you would with your lover the next morning.
Christchurch Polytechnic Institute of Technology
Christchurch
New Zealand
Overheard by: I wish I took this class…
Girl: It's been a week and I still haven't gotten the smell of bacon out of my hair.
Supportive friend: You have a weird boyfriend.
Rochester, New York
Middle schoolboy to wimpy friend: I always dump my girlfriends before I come to the mall.
Pleasant Hill, California
Overheard by: sam
Guy to friend: If I walked in on you making out with my little sister I would punch you in the face! But then I would be like, “Eh…she could do worse.”
Amherst, Massachusetts
Girl: I hate being single.
Friend: You're not single, you're just alone.
Eastern Arizona College
Overheard by: Lura
Loud woman on cell: If you're looking for a place to make friends and be sociable, you can do a lot better than AA.
Supermarket
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: the cashier
