13-year-old boy to parents: Shit, this place smells like old people and debauchery.
Mom: Now let's not judge the whores, Tommy.
Sahara Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: djglucose
13-year-old boy to parents: Shit, this place smells like old people and debauchery.
Mom: Now let's not judge the whores, Tommy.
Sahara Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: djglucose
Girl in bar: He’s a big, harmless teddy bear who has sex with people in their sleep.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mike K
Girl: Dude, she digs you, why don't you ask her out?
Guy: She's fat.
Girl: You are so fucking pretentious and shallow.
Guy: I'm okay with that. It means I only fuck hotties.
Girl: We fucked, does that mean you think I'm a hottie?
Guy: No, that just means I was drunk and you were willing.
Girl: Why am I friends with you?
Guy: I have no idea.
Denver, Colorado
Meathead #1: So, I think she's fuckin' some other dude…
Meathead #2: Yeah…but dude, just because she's fuckin' him doesn't mean she can't fuck you too.
Gym
USC, California
Hot chick: I was too tired for a layover in Denver! It’s not like you’d let me nap — we’d just end up fucking in the airport bathroom for five hours. Wait! If Denver’s the Mile High City, do you think bathroom sex can count us into the Mile High Club? Oh my god, I am changing my flight — Cleveland can wait. Cock is so much more important.
Minneapolis-St.Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Wishing I was the dude in Denver
Mom: You know, I necked in that funeral home.
Daughter: Mom!
Mom: Oh, honey, it wasn't with a corpse or anything. It was a preacher's son!
West Virginia
Girl #1: I mean, there are those people who pretend to be so moral, and then you find out they're, like, fucking a giraffe.
Girl #2, laughing: Ew! That's disgusting.
Girl #3: Seriously, though, hypocrites suck.
Girl #2: But what would that feel like?
Girl #1: What, being a hypocrite?
Girl #2: No… You know… The giraffe.
Girl #3: Ew… Uhm, horrible?
Girl #2: Yeah, you're right.
(five minutes later, in the middle of another topic)
Girl #2: But really, I think it would depend on how old it was.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: The giraffe.
Girl #1: Are you still thinking about fucking a giraffe?!?
Girl #3: We need to make sure she doesn't go to the zoo. That can only end badly.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: that sounds wholly unpleasant
Professor, discussing sperm's passage to egg: “Come and chase me!” That's what the woman says.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
20-something guy: I had a threesome once with two lesbians. They were eating each other's pussies out. It was fun.
20-something girl: You liked it?
20-something guy: I didn't say I liked it. I said it was fun.
Norman, Oklahoma
