Kermit: It's Not Easy Oozing Green

Bartender #1: Yeah, so I had this weird shit comin' outta my dick. It was sick, dude. Like this funky green pus-like shit oozing from the tip. Smelled like shit, too.
Bartender #2: Dude, you need to quit boning so many filthy whores. You're like rotting from the inside.
Bartender #1: Shit, man, I don't give a fuck. As long as I keep gettin' laid.
Bartender #2: You ain't gonna be doin' shit if your fuckin' nasty dick falls off.
Bartender #1: I know, right? This last chick I nailed was a total slut. I pulled down my pants and she could smell whatever's up with my cock. She goes “Ew, what stinks? Is that your dick?” And I go, “No, it's my feet, I swear!” Then I just pulled her towards me and shoved it in. It was awesome.
Bartender #2: Fuck, man. Something's definitely wrong with you.

Gaithersburg, Maryland

Overheard by: Nasty Nate

Posted on June 14, 2015
Bartenders, Body parts, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Maryland, Penis, Sensory experiences, Sex, STDs

But Slightly More Than Salt and Pepa

Sociology professor: Today, we'll be talking about sex.
(students mumble)
Sociology professor: I heard that. (pause) How much do I know about it? Well, I can tell you: less than my cheating ex-girlfriend.

University Classroom
Virginia

Overheard by: Nicole

Posted on June 12, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Infidelity, Questions, Sex, Teachers, Virginia

Preferably Not Even by You

Girl straddling guy on student lounge sofa: I want to suck your face off.
Guy: I’m just trying to get laid.

Boston University Central
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Vomiting in mouth

Posted on June 12, 2015
Couples, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Massachusetts, Sex

…And I'm Oddly Aroused.

Sober girl, crossing street: So what happened?
Tipsy girl: Well, everything was fine, I guess, but then the sex got really boring, so I had to let him go. Oh god, was that really loud?
Random stranger: Yup.

Dupont Circle
Washington, DC

Posted on June 9, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Girls, Questions, Sex, Washington, DC

All the Other Races Do It!

College girl to college guy: So you won't marry me but you'll procreate with me?

Glendale, Wisconsin

Posted on June 9, 2015
Frat boy types, Kids, Parenting, Pregnancy, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Sorority types, Wisconsin

And Yet We Soldier Bravely On

Suit #1: Yeah mate, it was fucking wild…
Suit #2: Oh yeah?
Suit #1: Yeah, took her back to mine. She's a skank. I swear there were spiders crawling out of her vag.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep