I Believe the Technical Term Is “Manure”

9-year-old boy, biking: Yo, what kind of flowers are they?
13-year-old brother, also biking: They be poppies an' calla-lilies an' peonies an' oleanders an' hydrangeas an' shit.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Phanatic

Posted on July 25, 2019
Kids, Pennsylvania, Questions, Siblings, Tweens, Words

Still, It’s a Violation of the Standard Creepiness Rule for Dating Age Differences

20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.

Colorado

Posted on April 17, 2019
Age and ageing, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Girls, Relationships, Siblings, Weirdness

Why “Family Vacation” Will Always Be an Oxymoron

Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Meaggoo

Posted on April 6, 2019
Death & dying, Default, Fears, Kids, Malls, Murder, Siblings, Teens, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Good to See a Family Do Things Together

Little boy to younger brother: I'm 'bout to choke you!
Mother, to all children: I'm 'bout to choke all y'all!
Little boy: Together, mama?
Mother: Together.

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on January 3, 2019
Kentucky, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Siblings, Threats

Did I Stutter?

Six-year-old boy: Hey, look at this piece of bamboo!
Eight-year-old brother, taking bamboo, hiding it behind his back and then brandishing it like a staff: And now, with my mermaid magic, I pronounce you Sir Giraffetail! Ahoy!
Six-year-old boy: What?

Indianapolis Zoo
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Emily and Aaron

Posted on February 13, 2018
Indiana, Kids, Magic, Names, Siblings

Amy Didn't Expect It to Be Beautiful

Five-year-old girl (pointing at penis on sculpture in museum): Daddy, what's that?
Daddy: What do you think it is?
Girl's little sister: It's a butt!
Five-year-old girl (pause, whispers in amazement): It's a penis.

Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: loves smart kids

Posted on March 5, 2016
Ass, Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Kids, Massachusetts, Penis, Questions, Siblings

Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties

Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don’t kiss that!

Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on August 6, 2015
California, Dads, Default, Family, Girls, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, Should have used a condom, Siblings, TV shows

How to Make a Little Kid Faint Dead Away

Eight-year-old: You should never say ‘Oh my G-O-D.’ That’s bad.
20-ish brother: Oh my god!
Eight-year-old: You can’t say that! That’s bad!
20-ish brother: Okay. Jesus fucking Christ!

Connecticut