How to Make a Little Kid Faint Dead Away

Eight-year-old: You should never say ‘Oh my G-O-D.’ That’s bad.
20-ish brother: Oh my god!
Eight-year-old: You can’t say that! That’s bad!
20-ish brother: Okay. Jesus fucking Christ!

Connecticut

Posted on August 3, 2015
Connecticut, Siblings, Words

When He Was Little, She'd Carry Him in One of Her Haversacks

Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so…ahem…close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

Posted on July 28, 2015
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Dads, Default, Family ties, Siblings, Virginia, Words

Strangely Less Inappropriate

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 28, 2015
Assholes, Body parts, Default, Etiquette, Hands, Malls, Oregon, Siblings

You’re Like Two-Legged Mace

Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I’m still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl’s younger brother: No one wants to rape you.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Quazarfreez

Posted on July 10, 2015
Assholes, Crimes, Default, Girls, Insults, Pennsylvania, Siblings, Wishes

Actually, I’ll Need a Spiked Paddle to Properly Demonstrate

Four-year-old girl: I like sex! I like sex! I like sex!
Six-year-old sister: You don’t even know what sex is!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do!
Six-year-old sister: No, you don’t!
Four-year-old girl: Yes, I do! It’s prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it’s not.
Four-year-old girl: Sex is prawn dumplings!
Six-year-old sister: No, it’s not! Sex is when mum and dad go into the bedroom and go like this…

Clayton
Australia

Posted on July 1, 2015
Australia, Sex, Siblings

Oh, Leave Pippi Longstocking Alone.

Sister: I fucking hate her.
Brother: Why? Because she's getting more action than you or because she's corrupting our youth?

Denver, Colorado

Posted on June 17, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Questions, Siblings

Or When You Have Some Good Weed. Either One.

Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.

Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland

Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer

Posted on June 17, 2015
Gripes, Maryland, Siblings

…But Only If They're the Horny Type.

Wise eight-year-old boy to brother: Getting a girlfriend is the easy part. But you have to know how to keep them.
Attentive six-year-old: How do you get them to stay?
Wise eight-year-old: You have to find out what kind of food they like to eat. And give them a plastic unicorn.

Nature Park
Tampa, Florida