Train guy: I just got in last night from Denver.
Train girl: Oh yeah? What part?
Train guy: Colorado.
South Shore Train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Chubi
Student: How do you spell “wear”? W-e-a-r? (pause) That is the stupidest thing I've ever said.
San Diego, California
Woman with two toddlers, ordering cake: I need a P-E-N-I-S cake…
Manager, walking in, gleefully oblivious: Ohhh, a penis cake! We can put fake hair on it. Last time, we had fake semen shooting out…
Huntington, California
Stoned guy: Stairs are really dangerous!
Stoned girl: Yeah! I don’t know why we have them…
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
American tourist, overlooking Grand Canal: It's like… It's just like Las Vegas!
Venice
Italy
Overheard by: Pumpkin and Peanut
Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother’s birthday is tomorrow. He’s Aryan.
Wal-Mart
Tracy, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Student #1: I told my dad I wanted to be famous, and he told me I should kill someone. I was like, seven.
Student #2: At least he's supportive.
Philedelphia University, Pennsylvania
Drunk girl #1: I totally feel like there’s going to be an earthquake any day now.
Drunk girl #2: I know, this is totally earthquake weather.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: made my next round a double
Tourist woman to wheelchair-bound local: Can you point me in the right direction?
Wheelchair-bound local: Yep, it's straight down that way.
Tourist woman: Okay…but is it walkable?
St. Lawrence Market
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
