Obama Is Tony, America Is Maria, And McCain Is Bernardo

Professor: Let's move on…let's talk about Puerto Ricans in New York. And crack. And race. Well, let's start with Obama.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Overheard by: lovecollege

Posted on December 28, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Drugs, Geography, Massachusetts, Names, Politics, Race, Teachers

Whereas Elizabeth Taylor Will Turn Into Delicious Pudding

Professor: One day you’ll wake up an old weathered hag, unless you’re Cher–she’ll just turn to dust one day when the sun hits her.

McDaniel College
Maryland

Posted on December 24, 2015
About celebrities, Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Maryland, Teachers

On the Plus Side, Now I Get to Try Out My New Paddle.

Professor: So where does the blood go then?
Student: The heart?
Professor: Good answer, too bad it's wrong.

Gold Coast
Australia

Posted on December 16, 2015
Australia, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers

Let Me Just Open Up My Briefcase

Professor to clapping students: You know what makes that funnier? I just took a shit.

Binghamton University
Binghamton, New York

Overheard by: ThirstyEar2

Posted on December 10, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Happiness, New York, Poop, Questions, Teachers

Um, Why Does Your Sippy Cup Smell Like Martini?

Two-year-old, holding plastic dinosaur up to ear: Uh-huh, mommy, it's been a really hard day.
Teacher: It's been a hard day, huh?
Two-year-old: Excuse me, I'm on the phone!

Preschool
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on December 8, 2015
Colorado, Education, Kids, Teachers, Weirdness

And Cock-Stopping’s an Essential Part of the Smith Charter

Chemistry professor, demonstrating suction filtration: … And you have to stop the cock before you turn on the water, or it will just [frantic hand motion] come all over your face.

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amused non-major

Posted on December 8, 2015
Advice, Animals, Massachusetts, Teachers, Words

And It’s Important to Know About Paula Abdul’s Career Trajectory

Student: If none of this is going to be on the exam, why are we devoting a class to it?
Professor: Because I find it interesting, and you have to listen to me.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on December 6, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Teachers

Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil

English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.

Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyssa