Girl: So, what's the test going to be like?
Professor: Hard… No, I don't know. I've never done this before.
College Station, Texas
Girl: So, what's the test going to be like?
Professor: Hard… No, I don't know. I've never done this before.
College Station, Texas
Professor, sighing: Every computer program has its glitches. This one certainly has a glitch, and the glitch is me.
Maine College of Art
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Misaki
Professor, whispering: What is god doing with female breasts?
Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Literature professor, after reciting Hamlet's “To be or not to be…”: So now you all need a Valium…count on me to ruin your day.
English Lit Class
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Rosencrantz
Physics professor: What do you do to amuse yourselves? You don't play with yourselves?
Guelph
Canadia
Professor: Some people’s minds are so open that their brains fall out.
University of St. Thomas
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: AnnArrogance
Defense lawyer, teaching trial advocacy: But remember that in real life, nobody charged with marijuana possession is actually going to go to trial.
Law student: Last summer when I was working at the legal clinic I had a client who was charged with possession go to trial!
Defense lawyer: What? In fifteen years of practice, I've never seen it go to trial.
Law student: Yeah, the prosecutor was being a dick about it too–he wanted jail time.
Defense lawyer: Who was the prosecutor? Tell me his name, I'll tell you if I ever got high with him.
Law School
Canadia
Overheard by: Law student
Professor: When you’re late, Eric* will take down your name. The first time he’ll just tack a threatening note on your door. What did we decide you would do for the second tardy?
Eric: Slash their tires.
Professor: Right. And the third time we’ll make pornographic images of you on Photoshop and put them on the Internet.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Teacher: I got a question for you guys… If you're flying at 50,000 feet and the left rear tire falls off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse and why?
Students: What the fuck?
Teacher: Clearly, the answer is 7, cause ice cream has no bones!
Student #1: Why do they keep giving us teachers on crack?
Student #2: I dunno, man. I dunno…
Inside Freshman Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Moral and religious education teacher, describing opening scene of Gridiron Gang: So the movie opens, right, and you hear all these guns going off, and everyone's gangbanging everywhere…
Students: (silence, then loud raucous laughter)
Teacher: Oh, Jesus Christ… I mean they're shooting loads at each other… Oh god, no…
Centennial Regional High School
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: amused
