Professor: Someone is going to take their pee and throw it at you. Yes. It is going to happen.
Parkside, Wisconsin
Professor: Someone is going to take their pee and throw it at you. Yes. It is going to happen.
Parkside, Wisconsin
Professor: Isn't Jim just a perplexing guy? I read his stories and I'm just like, “what's wrong with him?” Jim, you're just stoned all the time, aren't you? Are you stoned right now?
Jim: No!
Professor: But were you stoned earlier today?
Jim: Yes. But only because I was hungover!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Teacher: Who lived at Monticello?
Student: Darth Vader!
History Classroom
Idaho
Straight girl: Butt sex, butt sex, butt sex!
Gay guy: You really love saying that, don't you?
Straight girl: Yes!
Gay professor: Do you prefer anal to vaginal!
Straight girl: Ewww, fuck no! I don't want anything in my asshole! See, I have a vagina. I have options, unlike gay men.
Gay professor: Ah, you'll never know the pleasures of prostate stimulation.
Westchester, New York
Film student: Brittney spears is going to kill herself one day.
Film professor: Well, I see her more like a Liz Taylor, slowly bloating up and taking a long time to die.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Sean_G
Girl, on sex-ed: Well, I went to a Catholic school and as a result I didn't know what a penis was until I got to high school.
Guy: I think these middle school girls need psychotherapy before they need birth control. 11-year-olds shouldn't be having sex.
Girl: Girls? Why just the girls? They're having sex with 11-year-old boys. You need something to stick in there in order to get pregnant.
Professor: Well, it looks like you found out what a penis was.
University of Northern Iowa
Cedar Falls, Iowa
Professor: Please don't talk amongst yourselves. When you talk amongst yourselves, I imagine you're saying horrible things like “Who would ever want to shag him?”
Previously chatting student: Don't worry! We all want to shag you!
University of Glasgow
Scotland
UK
AP English teacher: Now, remember kids, what do I always say you all should do?
Student: Procreate?
AP English teacher: No! Well, eh…I do say that too, but I meant “proofread!”
Northport, Long Island
New York
Teacher: Let's all play a c.
(music class plays a horrible, off-key c)
Teacher: Without the instruments, then.
High School
Oslo
Norway
Overheard by: Jorunn
Teacher: If you could be any vegetable, what would you be?
Random black student: I'd be a strawberry.
University of Florida
Overheard by: amused greatly
