Professor: So where else could the US get money for the $700 billion dollar economic bailout other than the American taxpayers?
Student: I think that they should have a bake sale!
Meredith College
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Professor: So where else could the US get money for the $700 billion dollar economic bailout other than the American taxpayers?
Student: I think that they should have a bake sale!
Meredith College
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Professor: The floor's getting further away the older I get, but there's always Jack Daniels and Percocet.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: hopes he never gets THAT old
Student: Hermaphrodites have everything. They have the whole package.
Professor: Yeah, hermaphrodites have it all. I've seen it on the internet.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Professor, discussing the concept of virtue in literature: Today, when you hear the word “virtue”, you just kind of laugh. And that's because your souls are all festering masses of corruption.
Literary Theory Class
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: Reb
Professor: We're so obsessed about wasting time. But where does the time go when it's wasted?
San Diego, California
Teacher: You know, when I was your age we didn't have classes like this. If you wanted to learn about personal finance, you got a job. If you wanted to learn about sex, you went to the bathroom.
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Sunday school teacher (showing picture of Good Shepherd): Who can tell me who this is?
Kid: That's Jesus with the whacker!
Teacher (puzzled): You mean he takes the sheep out for a walk?
Kid (pointing to the shepherd's crook): No, when one of the sheep tries to get away from Jesus, he whacks them with it so they won't go!
http://overheardintheward.blogspot.com/
Exasperated, flustered girl: Sir! Alice* just fell over, I think she's seriously hurt.
Teacher: What? She has my keys!
Marian College
Melbourne
Australia
(Christian brother professor is chewing on the ice of his drink after lunch)
Student: Hey brother, you know what chewing ice is supposed to signify?
Brother: Yeah…sexual frustration.
Student (chuckling): Yeah.
Brother (shrugging): Occupational hazard.
LaSalle University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Well D'uh
Teacher: Hey! Who was screaming?
Three-year-old: I was.
Teacher: Well, stop screaming inside.
Three-year-old: Sam* was screaming.
Teacher: Look, important lesson for the future: keep your lies consistent.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
