What's the Matter With Kids Today?

Exasperated, flustered girl: Sir! Alice* just fell over, I think she's seriously hurt.
Teacher: What? She has my keys!

Marian College
Melbourne
Australia

Posted on October 1, 2008
Australia, Colleges & Universities, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

On a Totally Unrelated Topic, Care to Come See My “Special Room”?

(Christian brother professor is chewing on the ice of his drink after lunch)
Student: Hey brother, you know what chewing ice is supposed to signify?
Brother: Yeah…sexual frustration.
Student (chuckling): Yeah.
Brother (shrugging): Occupational hazard.

LaSalle University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Well D'uh

Posted on September 27, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Jobs & Careers, Pennsylvania, Questions, Religious fanatics, Sexuality, Students, Teachers

If Only Our Current Administration Could Grasp That Principle

Teacher: Hey! Who was screaming?
Three-year-old: I was.
Teacher: Well, stop screaming inside.
Three-year-old: Sam* was screaming.
Teacher: Look, important lesson for the future: keep your lies consistent.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on September 25, 2008
Colorado, Default, Education, Kids, Lies, Questions, Teachers

Yeah, Um, About That Jerri-Curl

Camp counselor: Do you have shampoo with you?
Seven-year-old camper: I don't wash my hair. I'm black! Duh.

Rec Center Pool
New York, New York

Posted on September 23, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Hair, Health & Hygiene, Kids, New York, Questions, Race, Teachers

But the Sombrero Is Just for Style

Prof: Is today Cinco de Mayo?
Girl: No, that's in a few days.
Prof: Well, I had a few shots of tequila when I got up this morning, just in case.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Face

Posted on September 22, 2008
Default, Drinking & drunks, Holidays, Questions, Teachers, Washington, Weirdness

Now Square the Circle! Square It, I Say!

Math professor: In Russia, if something is not allowed and you want it really bad, you can do it.

Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island

Posted on September 17, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Geography, Rhode Island, Teachers

What a Poetic Way Of Saying “Anus”!

Professor: Does this fit into his expanding and contracting magical porn circle?

Washington University
St Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: You can't laugh in a four person class

Posted on September 16, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Missouri, Porn, Questions, Teachers, Words

…Until I Heard Her Reciting Beowulf in the Shower

English teacher: Yeah, I dated this girl one time and she took a class and learned middle English. She memorized the beginning of The Canterbury Tales in middle English so she was like, “Do you want to hear The Canterbury Tales in middle English?” And I was like “yeah!” and she said it, and it didn't even sound like English. It was crazy, like chanting or something. I was about to propose to her just then. But I got over it.

Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey