Time Management

Greenpeace canvasser: Hey! Want to save some trees?
Lady: I don't have time right now. I have to go get rid of a man by divorcing him.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Deana

Drunk gamer #1, about Warhawk: Those Japanese were amazing!
Drunk gamer #2: But you know, in Japan there's so many people, and so much time.

Boulder, Colorado

Guy #1 to guy #2 who just stepped onto the elevator: Hey man, did you ever find your glasses?
Guy #2: Yeah, I did. They were at the concierge desk.
Guy #1: What about your pants?
Guy #2: Yeah, they were around my ankles, though I don't really know what happened with that.
Guy #1: I do. You did about 20 shots of rum in 10 minutes.
Guy #2: That doesn't sound right! It wasn't that fast!
Guy #1: Okay, maybe about 15 minutes then.
Guy #2: Yeah, that sounds right. I barely remember the sword.

Elevator
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Holly

Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?

Outside Beaver [all girl’s dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio

Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla

Boy #1: Why do you have all your stuff with you?
Boy #2, carrying oversized bag of athletic equipment: I have class at 3:50, then I have to ride straight over to practice.
Boy #1: Oh, that sucks.
Boy #2: Well, it could be worse. I could have syphilis.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/10/glass-half-full.html

Overheard by: lilly

Meth user: Am I too late to get my methadone?
Young pharmacist: Yes. After five p.m. we dump all the methadone down the drain.
Meth user, very nervous: Are you kidding?!
Young pharmacist, laughing: Yes, I am.

Fort Erie, Ontario
Canadia

Third grader #1, pushing empty kiddie swing: I'm practicing pushing my baby.
Third grader #2: Why? You're not going to have a baby for like 55 years.
Third grader #1: But it's good to know how, just in case.

Mount Vernon, New York

Dude to friend: Don’t worry — I have plenty of meals left to buy condoms.

Cafeteria, University of Michigan
Michigan

Girl: All she does is walk around and get knocked up.

Parking Garage
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: hhmm…

(at 4:30 pm)
College girl #1: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it's really early for that.
College guy: Well, it's not too early if you are old.
College girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College girl #1: Really? I can't wait to be old!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/363289326/it-happens-earlier-than-you-think.html

Overheard by: I'm not in that big of a rush