Teacher to girl picking lint off her boobs: Pay attention, please.
Girl: I can't! I'm cleaning!
Potomac, Maryland
Teacher to girl picking lint off her boobs: Pay attention, please.
Girl: I can't! I'm cleaning!
Potomac, Maryland
20-something nasty-looking girl in pub, scratching furiously down trousers: Jesus, my clunge itches!
Leamington Spa
England
Man describing play: You've never seen anything better then two sock puppets diddling each other.
Chicago, Illinois
Hobo, surrounded by EMTs and police: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Sir, have you been drinking?
Hobo: Hocus pocus!
Officer: Have you had anything yummy, like beer?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: nathans
Suit: I assume he's sitting in his backyard in a loincloth right now.
Boston, Massachusetts
Super smart, nerdy-looking guy: No! If you hit a mammoth with a comet, it will freeze!
High School
North Dakota
Overheard by: marisawin
Teen ordering at Subway: Yeah, I want mustard.
Teen friend: No way. Mustard?
Teen ordering: I like mustard.
Teen friend: Omigod, I'm telling Paul* and he's never gonna talk to you again.
Teen ordering: What? Omigod! No, don't!
Teen friend, pulling out phone and dialing: Too late.
Teen ordering, almost crying: I like Paul*!
Teen friend, answering phone: Hello? Paulie! Natasha* loves mustard. (pause) Oh. Never mind, Paul* likes mustard.
Cashier: Um, are you two drunk?
Teen ordering, wide-eyed: Do you like mustard?
Subway
Alabama
Overheard by: they were drunk.
Taxi dispatcher: Yeah, take your time. No need to kill yourself.
Taxi driver: One more reason not to kill myself. Copy.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Claiborne
Guy to crowd of housemates: See, this is the kind of toilet we want–it's rated to be able to flush one kilo of material at a time.
Girl: How many kilos does a newborn weigh?
Home Depot
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Alchemist George
Twelve-year-old boy in lunch line: So I think I have a new arch-nemesis… He's like, Canadian, or something.
Friend: Cool!
Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island
