Weirdness

Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It's official–I'm going to be ovulating on my wedding day.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Double V

Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No… Sorry, I found one in our shower.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Hispanic cleaning lady, about being a nurse in Mexico: It's not like over there, like say, if you accidentally kill an old person, you have to buy another one.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: high school aide

Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him?

Palo Alto, California

Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
(pause)
Older student: Did you know that you can't own pygmies?

The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: Katie

Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Overly friendly man on bus: It's like, for example, do you know how many seasons there are in a year?
Woman: Tweleve.
Overly friendly man: Well, actually there are four seasons, four seasons in a year, I guess…
Woman: Well, I'm not from here, I'm from Montana.

Seattle, Washington

Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: tab

Emo #1, trying on black eyeshadow: Does it look alright?
Emo #2: Yeah, it looks great!
Emo #1: Should I buy it?
Emo #2: Yes! Oh my god, there's some on your face!
Emo #1: Where?
Emo #2: There, on your cheek!
(emo #1 starts wiping it off)
Emo #2: Hey, you look like an aboriginal.

Cosmetics Shop
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Somni

Woman #1: Hey! Look! Trees!
Woman #2: No, you can't get one. Not after you killed the last one we gave you.

De Anza Flea Market
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl