And Perhaps We'll Hear the Pitter Patter of Tiny Sheets

Mother to teen daughter: And then you, me, and your aunt can mount the pillow like last time.

Wal-Mart
Augusta, Georgia

Overheard by: Annissa

Posted on May 1, 2023
Default, Family ties, Georgia, Memory lane, Moms, Stores, Weirdness

Can We Write a Theme Song About You with That Lyric?

Lady, bumping into female cop in crowded elevator: Oh! Excuse me.
Female cop: Hey, if my boobs don't getcha, my ass will.

Justice Center
El Paso County, Colorado

Posted on April 30, 2023
Ass, Colorado, Cops, Default, Rack, Weirdness, Women

Thanks, Make-a-Wish Foundation!

Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It's official–I'm going to be ovulating on my wedding day.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Double V

Posted on April 30, 2023
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drunks, Gender issues, Girls, Illinois, Relationships, Weirdness

When the Magic Mushrooms Came to Oklahoma City

Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No… Sorry, I found one in our shower.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Posted on April 29, 2023
Drugs, Girls, Oklahoma, Sensory experiences, Sex, Weirdness

…So You Can Steal Their Social Security Checks.

Hispanic cleaning lady, about being a nurse in Mexico: It's not like over there, like say, if you accidentally kill an old person, you have to buy another one.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: high school aide

Posted on April 29, 2023
Compare and contrast, Employees, Latinas, Murder, Shopping, Texas, Weirdness

Were His Teeth In or Out?

Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him?

Palo Alto, California

Posted on April 27, 2023
California, Family ties, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness, Women

Stop Referring to Freshmen That Way!

Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
(pause)
Older student: Did you know that you can't own pygmies?

The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on April 24, 2023
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers, Washington, Weirdness

It's 1 A.M., Sir.

Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on April 22, 2023
Drunks, England, Feelings, Gripes, Religion, Smokers, Weirdness

That's No Excuse For Stupidity

Overly friendly man on bus: It's like, for example, do you know how many seasons there are in a year?
Woman: Tweleve.
Overly friendly man: Well, actually there are four seasons, four seasons in a year, I guess…
Woman: Well, I'm not from here, I'm from Montana.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on April 12, 2023
Bus, Default, Guys, Questions, Stupidity, Washington, Weirdness, Women

I Stowed It in the Crawl-Space with Your Dignity

Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: tab

Posted on March 30, 2023
California, Default, Guys, Moms, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

Weirdness