Guy: So I got there, and they were out of the green ones, so I had to get two of the green ones to get one of the green ones!
Nikki's Cafe
Beloit, Wisconsin
Drunk guy to group of teens: If you're on the moon and you ain't got no shoes, man, you're outta luck.
Rye, New York
Overheard by: Grizzzly
College girl #1: I can always tell it's really cold when my face starts tightening up. And I start talking with a lisp.
College girl #2: Girl, you always talk with a lisp!
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Geology professor, after sneezing: It's all these trees outside having all of this unprotected sex.
Student: We're just caught in the crossfire.
Geology professor: Exactly. You should see the stains on my car!
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Math professor, taking baby steps across the front of the room: Infinity is waaay over there. It's gonna take me awhile to get there.
Southern Methodist University
Taos, New Mexico
Single mom: And what happens to Cinderella at midnight?
Eight-year-old son: She gets destroyed!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Happy little boy touching everything: Bacteria! Bacteria! Bacteria!
Post Office
Hammond, Louisiana
Teenage girl to father: I didn't come out of her vagina, okay? I don't have to respect her.
Father: Well, I guess you don't respect me either, cause you didn't come out of my vagina!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: made my day
Sorostitute: Like, ohmigod, Africa is like so cute!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ladle
