Girl: My boobs are fun to play with.
Guy: You're just now figuring this out, after 30-some years?
Girl: Hey, I haven't had my boobs that long!
Guy: Okay, 20-some years?
Girl: No, I remember discovering they were fun in the 6th grade. I was in the middle of class, though, so that was kind of awkward.
Denver, Colorado
Punk girl: A lamp?
Punk guy: While it was still on.
Punk girl: Didn't that like…burn the colon?
Punk guy: Apparently it wasn't on at first. Someone decided to plug it in as a joke.
Punk girl, giggling: Oh my god…what happened with that?
Punk guy: I don't know–all I know is that it involved the hospital.
California
6th grade student: Miss Smith, I've decided that I'm gonna to end my reign of terror.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!
Michigan State University
Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We're at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn't get up the hill! It was awful!
Train
Aberdeen
Scotland
Blonde #1: So wait, your dad was still married when he asked your mom out?
Blonde #2: Yeah, and I mean I hadn't thought about it until my sister pointed it out, but I guess my mom was a homewrecker. So I asked her about it and she was like “oh, yeah…I remember the divorce papers going through.”
Blonde #1: That is so weird!
Blonde #2: Yeah, no kidding.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Not the Daughter of a Homewrecker
Woman: He's called “The Anal Man.” His ass can bend in 15 different positions. He's a big hit in Europe. (produces rubber toy)
Los Angeles, California
Goth girl on cell: His dick is huge! I came so hard I was crying! (notices several people looking at her and laughing) Do you fucking mind? This is a private conversation!
Red Line Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Girl: Stop poking my love handles!
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
