Animals

Guy to table of friends: I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: CJ

Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that's part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it's our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there's a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don't go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What's that?
Redneck girl: It's when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.

High School
North Carolina

Biology professor: So how would you go about getting two and a half humps on a camel? It's very important, we need to do that.

Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Guy on cell: No way — I left my dog in the car. I don’t perform in front of animals!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html

Overheard by: sara

Loudmouthed breakfast patron: I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but what if you keep kosher and someone, like, brings a pig to your house? Like, what do you do with their pet pig?

Toast Two
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Paul

Biology prof: So the dinosaurs were eating all the iridium poisoned plants, and dying of drug overdoses. That's why you find them in all these weird positions, they were having bad trips and just… dying.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Danielle

20-something girl: If anyone ever punches me, all of the turtles in western Pennsylvania will get together, form a giant stack, and bite that person.
20-something guy: Wow. Like Voltron?
20-something girl: Why did I marry you?
20-something guy: *Because* I say things like that.
20-something girl (sighing): Yeah, you're right.

Walnut St
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Biology teacher: Parvo disease is a disease in mammals that can be fatal; squirrels, cats and dogs can all get it.
Kid, whispering quietly to himself: Ruff! Ruff ruff! Kaboom!

Florida

Man #1: I know this is stupid, but are buffalo extinct?
Man #2: No, they used to be.

Austin, Texas

Teacher: See, adjectives are boring old turtles.
Students: Uhhh.
Teacher: But participles are like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Marshall High School
Virginia

Overheard by: amused student….