Animals

Man to wife: The only reason it's an aphrodisiac is because it takes huge balls to cut the penis off a tiger.

Burough Market
London
England

Overheard by: Justyn Egert

Girl: But she said you were cute.
Guy: Yeah but it’s like: puppies are cute, but you don’t fuck a puppy.

New York City
New York

Overheard by: I’m more of a cat person…

Brunette: I don't think dinosaurs were ever real.
Blonde: Why is that?
Brunette: If they were really that big, only like ten could fit on earth. They wouldn't even be able to walk around much.
Blonde: Oh, you're probably right. I've never thought about it like that before.

Northern Michigan University

Woman on phone: Okay, so go past the monkey and we'll be right here!

Harrison, Michigan

Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.

Alabama State Fair

Overheard by: Wendy and Joe

Guy #1: When he gets excited, that kid laughs like a hyena.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know.
Guy #1, trying to mimic the laugh but failing: I don't know how he does it.

New Jersey

High school dude #1: It's like bestiality, only you have to make sure you point it the right way.
High school dude #2: Yeah, that shit's important.

Santa Ana, California

Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans… It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!

Federal Hill, Baltimore

Guy at computer: It’s this whole thing with the penguins, man…
Friend: Yeah, I know. It’ll work itself out, though.

Monash University
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Timothy

Girl: I want a squirrel.
Friend: I want a cheeseburger.

UT
Austin, Texas