Guy, walking up to greeter: You wouldn't happen to have any buttplugs, would you?
Target
Little Falls, New Jersey
Overheard by: harry bohemis
Guy, walking up to greeter: You wouldn't happen to have any buttplugs, would you?
Target
Little Falls, New Jersey
Overheard by: harry bohemis
Asian girl in bright coat: Oh my fucking god, I think I just lost my virginity.
Blonde girl: Wait, how does that even work?
Asian girl in bright coat: The end of the teeter-totter seat is like totally up my ass, and it's like penetrating.
Blonde girl: Oh.
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Shawn
Overzealous personal trainer to neophyte trainee: Touch yourself in the butt!
Gym
West Long Branch, New Jersey
Overheard by: Robert
Seven-year-old boy: Jonas Brothers! The Jonas Brothers can suck my ass!
Borders
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Amy D
Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!
Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Cute chick: I don’t know what’s going on, but my butt cheeks are sweating really bad.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/i_can_think_of_a_few_reasons.html
Overheard by: the bomb track
Little girl: Mom, why don’t I have a hairy butt like you?
Bathroom, AA flight 329
Drunk #1: I'm telling you man, these fucking guys raped a fish.
Drunk #2: What fucking guys?
Drunk #1: In Africa. They raped a fish. That's why the fish have to wear condoms, so they don't have fish babies with bulging human eyes.
Drunk #3: How the fuck did we get from talking about his (gestures towards drunk #2) sister's hairy vulva to fish rape?
Drunk #4: How the fuck would you even rape a fish anyway?
Drunk #1: Gut it and wank with its corpse?
Drunk #2, knowingly: Or freeze it and push it up your arse.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Eastern European delegate in back row: And that was by far the biggest thing that has ever been in my ass!
College of William & Mary Model United Nations Conference
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: The Georgia delegate now regretting her seat choice
