Yet I Notice You're Not Moving.

Asian girl in bright coat: Oh my fucking god, I think I just lost my virginity.
Blonde girl: Wait, how does that even work?
Asian girl in bright coat: The end of the teeter-totter seat is like totally up my ass, and it's like penetrating.
Blonde girl: Oh.

Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: Shawn

Posted on November 15, 2014
Asians, Ass, Canadia, Games, Girls, Sensory experiences, Virginity

Too Much, Too Much!

Overzealous personal trainer to neophyte trainee: Touch yourself in the butt!

Gym
West Long Branch, New Jersey

Overheard by: Robert

Posted on November 9, 2014
Ass, New Jersey, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

And Will, Too, At The Drop Of a Hat

Seven-year-old boy: Jonas Brothers! The Jonas Brothers can suck my ass!

Borders
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Amy D

Posted on November 9, 2014
About celebrities, Ass, Glad the condom broke, Gripes, Insults, Kids, Music, Texas

You Have to Earn the Right to Stay in Paradise, Pal

Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can’t dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!

Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on November 5, 2014
Ass, Backdoor, Drunks, Guys, Maryland, Pride, Relationships, Restaurants

The Saddest Words: ‘It Might Have Been’

Asian chick: If I wasn’t wearing underwear I definitely would have let him slide his hand up my butt.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/reticent.html

Overheard by: doug

Posted on October 16, 2014
Asians, Ass, Default, People, Undies

Just a Test of the Emergency Menopause Warning System

Cute chick: I don’t know what’s going on, but my butt cheeks are sweating really bad.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/i_can_think_of_a_few_reasons.html

Overheard by: the bomb track

Posted on December 4, 2013
Ass, Chicks, Overheard in Minneapolis

Just Keep Watering It, Sweetie

Little girl: Mom, why don’t I have a hairy butt like you?

Bathroom, AA flight 329

Posted on November 28, 2013
Airports & flights, Ass, Glad the condom broke, Hair, Questions, Restroom

We're Gonna Get Along Swimmingly, Mate.

Drunk #1: I'm telling you man, these fucking guys raped a fish.
Drunk #2: What fucking guys?
Drunk #1: In Africa. They raped a fish. That's why the fish have to wear condoms, so they don't have fish babies with bulging human eyes.
Drunk #3: How the fuck did we get from talking about his (gestures towards drunk #2) sister's hairy vulva to fish rape?
Drunk #4: How the fuck would you even rape a fish anyway?
Drunk #1: Gut it and wank with its corpse?
Drunk #2, knowingly: Or freeze it and push it up your arse.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep