Ghetto girl: Did you know that half my weight is in my ass?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: You have a ghetto booty?
Ghetto girl: Yeah, I went to the doctor’s and he said, ‘Yo, half your weight is in your ass,’ and my mother laughed her head off.
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Surgeon #1: … So I told him, ‘If you just stop putting it in your ass, you won’t have that problem!’
Surgeon #2: Yeah.
Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Guy to girl dancing on street corner: Shake that ass, girl!
Girl: Thank you!
Guy: Sorry, I’m being an asshole.
Girl: It’s okay — I got the goods!
Chicago, Illinois
Doctor to patient: It’s simply impossible to fall on it! Your ass would not stretch that far for it to go in!
Sparrow Hospital ER
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: laughing intern
Teen #1: Dude, gross!
Teen #2: Come on, man! Don’t act like that, you’ve wondered if it was worth it having your asshole licked during sex, too!
Teen #1: Yeah, but not by a fat Asian chick!
Stranger: Was it worth it?
Modern Skate and Surf
Royal Oak, Michigan
Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.
Department Store
Davis, California
Overheard by: Arlene
Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!
Richmond, Virginia
20-something girl: When you go pee first thing in the morning, do you ever make a bunch of noises and you're not sure if they 're coming from your hoo-haw or your ass?
Friend: Umm…no.
20-something girl: Yeah, me neither.
University of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri
