Sigh. You Guys Are So Predictable.

Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.

Portland, Oregon

Posted on March 15, 2023
Animals, Ass, Body parts, Coworkers, Oregon, Questions, Weirdness, Words

Worst. Smoothie. Ever.

Guy #1: Did you see the video where that girl shoots a banana out of her ass?
Guy #2: Yeah! And then she's like “I think there's still a strawberry up there!”

Clemson University
Clemson, South Carolina

Overheard by: starch

Posted on March 10, 2023
Ass, Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Guys, Pop culture, South Carolina, Weirdness

And I Haven't Been Mowed in Quite Some Time

Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…

Murrieta, California

Overheard by: I hope I don't become my mother

Posted on February 18, 2023
Ass, California, Compare and contrast, Moms, Money, Queers, Sex

Given Time

Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?

Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Deathly Confused

Posted on December 9, 2022
Ass, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Guys, Queers, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality

According to My Logic Professor

Guy: If you can like anal, you can like feet!

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Posted on November 14, 2022
Ass, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Sex, Virginia, Weirdness

I Demolished That Problem Set, Yo.

Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I'll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
(pause)
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It's on that Archimedes' principle shit.

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

Posted on November 8, 2022
Ass, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Kentucky, Questions, Thugs, Words

The Make-a-Wish Foundation Failed to Return Her Calls

Teenage girl: You know what I wish I had?
Teenage boy, not paying attention: Uh-huh.
Teenage girl: A penis… I'd just go shoving it into people's butts.
Teenage boy: Wait… What?
Teenage girl, whispering to herself: I wish I had a penis.

Bus
Ottawa
Canadia