Ass

Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!

ER
Newport Beach, California

Girl to friend: It's like karma in the butt, you know?
Friend: (pained expression on face, agreeing)

San Francisco, California

Black woman #1: I hate when people wait to the last minute to try and get off at a stop.
Black woman #2: Mmm-hmm.
Black woman #1: I don't let them past if they try to do that shit.
Black woman #2: What you do?
Black woman #1: I'll push their mothafuckin' ass back on the train!

Subway
New York City

Girl, paying for something: Oh. hang on, I have more money in my butt.

Amherst, Massachusetts

Disembodied male voice: That is not my ass!

Borders
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Caylin

Professor: I’m just waiting for a chlorine radical to come and bite me up the ass.

Morraine Valley Community College
Palos Hills, Illinois

Overheard by: Kati

Communications professor: Do you think you’ve made any progress in this class?
Student who just gave her speech: Well, my butt cheeks weren’t shaking this time!

Community college
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Some progress is better than none.

Suit on the Taipei subway: After I went home that day, I kept thinking about hemorrhoids.

http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html#8096816716191692834

Overheard by: Yugan

Suit #1: Yeah, I went in for a colonoscopy last week.
Suit #2: Really? How was it? Painful?
Suit #1: No, actually, with all the Demerol they gave me I don't remember anything about it…love that Demerol…so much so that I think I'll schedule another ass scope for next week.

Modesto, California

Overheard by: Ken Lane

Guy, walking up to greeter: You wouldn't happen to have any buttplugs, would you?

Target
Little Falls, New Jersey

Overheard by: harry bohemis