Ass

College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?

Fulton, Missouri

Overheard by: The Sweetheart

20-something guy: And then she was like, “there's a boner in my ass!” She was like a turbo-slut!

Diner
Mamaroneck, New York

Overheard by: Dianachka

Middle aged lady in hospital scrubs: It's a lot of fun and great exercise.
Old toothless lady: I really admire you, I don't like to show off my fuzzy-fuzzy to just anyone.
Middle aged lady: Yeah, well, I don't either, but like I said: it's great exercise.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Karl

Chickie #1: You have a hole in your jeans.
Chickie #2: I love my hole!

Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: The Old Man

Girlfriend: I think my butt has gotten bigger.
Boyfriend: If that’s true, hallelujah. I love big booties.
Girlfriend: David*, this is serious! I think I have been doing so many squats that my butt has lifted and risen… like bread.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: MoMo

20-something girl: My ass hurts and my throat is sore. I also feel very underwhelmed.

San Francisco, California

Stoner chick on cell: Yeah, he’s just gonna want to get high and do stuff to my ass.

Wendy’s
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Jon

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?”
Friend: See, there you go. If you don't sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you're butt-fingered.

Subway Store
Maitland
Australia

Girl: You so should have tested it first.
Guy: I did! I used it on my ass the other day.
Girl: And it didn't burn?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/425989704/want-to-see-it.html

Overheard by: evan.