Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.
Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.
Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Girl #1, talking about Lasik surgery: Well, they either cut your eye completely with a laser, or they do part of it surgically.
Girl #2: No! No! Stop. I can't talk about eyes. Don't talk about eyes, especially when I'm eating.
Guy: This is just like with my friend, Marise. We can't talk about killing people because she's from Haiti.
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Molly
College boy #1: Well dude, is she hot?
College boy #2: She's like my best friend, dude, but you'll probably think she's hot. I mean she's got huge tits, but she's my best friend.
Winona State University
Winona, Minnesota
Taller Asian teen: Ha ha! You're so short! Shorty!
Shorter Asian teen: (silence)
Taller Asian teen: Sorry, I was just kidding.
Shorter Asian teen, sadly: Well, it's only because my shoulders are below my head…
China
30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.
Bus
England
Overheard by: Jeff Alderman
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”
Long Branch, New Jersey
Girl: The moral of the story is: “Don't give blow jobs with a dislocated jaw!”
Rhodes University
South Africa
Professor: Nobody thinks they're eating brains!
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Mallory
Woman to friend buying panties: So, are you sure these aren't the ones that will give you cameltoe?
Peoria, Arizona
Overheard by: Giggling cashier
Girl #1: I wish we had the same size feet.
Girl #2: Well, it's your fault.
Girl #1: How is it my fault? It's not like one day I woke up and was like, “yo Jesus, make my feet three sizes bigger than my sister's.”
Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: greg
