Body parts

Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.

Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Jo

Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.

Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Girl #1, talking about Lasik surgery: Well, they either cut your eye completely with a laser, or they do part of it surgically.
Girl #2: No! No! Stop. I can't talk about eyes. Don't talk about eyes, especially when I'm eating.
Guy: This is just like with my friend, Marise. We can't talk about killing people because she's from Haiti.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Molly

College boy #1: Well dude, is she hot?
College boy #2: She's like my best friend, dude, but you'll probably think she's hot. I mean she's got huge tits, but she's my best friend.

Winona State University
Winona, Minnesota

Taller Asian teen: Ha ha! You're so short! Shorty!
Shorter Asian teen: (silence)
Taller Asian teen: Sorry, I was just kidding.
Shorter Asian teen, sadly: Well, it's only because my shoulders are below my head…

China

30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.

Bus
England

Overheard by: Jeff Alderman

Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”

Long Branch, New Jersey

Girl: The moral of the story is: “Don't give blow jobs with a dislocated jaw!”

Rhodes University
South Africa

Professor: Nobody thinks they're eating brains!

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Mallory

Woman to friend buying panties: So, are you sure these aren't the ones that will give you cameltoe?

Peoria, Arizona

Overheard by: Giggling cashier