Books

Professor, discussing King Solomon's Mines: So they find the body in the cave, and it hasn't decomposed at all. Not such a strange thing, as those of you who've ever hidden a body in a freezer will know.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Professor, about a book currently sold out at the campus bookstore: This book has been required in my class for years. All the upperclassmen have this book. Borrow it! (whispering) Steal it!

Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Eager freshman: It’s like a disco, but with books!

Harvard Yard
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Husband: What's the greatest story ever told, then?
Wife: Hansel and Gretel!

Los Angeles, California

Guy on cell: I would be walking, and suddenly the word “vaginas” with a massive smiley face beside would pop into my head, as if my brain was trying to tell me it's fun… like a children's book.

Winnipeg
Canadia

Overheard by: Chad

Ditz #1: …and then I was like, “Why did I fail spring semester, sir?” and then he was like, “You asked me if The Odyssey was an actual event, and stated that it was in every one of your papers on the subject, even after I told you it wasn't.”
Ditz #2: Wait, it wasn't?

Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois

Customer: Excuse me, where is your non-fiction section?
Salesgirl: What type of non-fiction are you looking for?
Customer: Harry Potter.

Bookstore
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Chick: I should write children's books based on those stories: the volleyball girl with bad luck, and the girl with the feet of a black man.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Teacher: Okay, so get out your books and start doing the exercises.
Student: Can I borrow your book?
Teacher: You didn't bring your books? Man…you guys are such losers.

Philadelphia University, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Student

Girl: Mom, you have to buy me a book.
Mom: I just bought you beef jerky!

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Ciara & Eric