High school dude #1: It's like bestiality, only you have to make sure you point it the right way.
High school dude #2: Yeah, that shit's important.
Santa Ana, California
High school dude #1: It's like bestiality, only you have to make sure you point it the right way.
High school dude #2: Yeah, that shit's important.
Santa Ana, California
Guy to girlfriend: It doesn’t matter what we do! It’s pervert weekend!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Mom: So, what was it like being lost?
Five-year-old: It was okay.
Mom: Was it fun?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Stoneridge Mall
Pleasanton, California
Overheard by: Stephen K
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That's Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn't he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It's a complicated story and we'll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
Girl #1, pointing to bag of peanuts: Are those your nuts?
Girl #2: No, they’re Bob’s* nuts.
[brief pause, then both girls begin laughing hysterically]Girl #1, after a few minutes: That was the stupidest thing ever.
Girl #2: You know you liked it.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: I laughed because I didn’t know what was going on
Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don't need you anymore. I got cigarettes.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Matt
Asian guy #1: She's the kind of woman who stands to the side, but she's also the kind of woman who talks shit behind your back.
Asian guy #2: Yeah, traditional Asian bitch.
UCSD
San Diego, California
Girl: Wow! Einstein was like really smart!
Astronomy Class
UCSC, California
Overheard by: Eric
Chubby goth girl (gasping): Oh, shit! (spills her coffee)
Skinny punk chick: Did you burn yourself?
Chubby goth girl: No, but I bet my snatch smells like chocolate now.
Skinny punk chick: That's sexy.
Starbucks
Lakeport, California
Mom: But dear, you must like swing music. It’s simply infectious!
Five-year-old daughter: Mom, I do not like swing music.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: I don’t like swing music either
