Girl: I almost failed my drug test because I couldn't pee in front of the lady. I guess I can never go to prison.
Chico, California
Overheard by: KJ
Girl: I almost failed my drug test because I couldn't pee in front of the lady. I guess I can never go to prison.
Chico, California
Overheard by: KJ
Woman on porch to man on porch: I really like the way you tell Jack to get off the couch!
Pacifica, California
Student #1: My friend's mom didn't let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread 'em.
Loma Linda, California
Toddler boy in stall with mom: I’m done!
Mom: Are you sure? Why are you doing that? Don’t pull on it!
Toddler boy: Daddy does it all the time!
Border Grill
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Smooph
High school dude #1: It's like bestiality, only you have to make sure you point it the right way.
High school dude #2: Yeah, that shit's important.
Santa Ana, California
Guy to girlfriend: It doesn’t matter what we do! It’s pervert weekend!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Mom: So, what was it like being lost?
Five-year-old: It was okay.
Mom: Was it fun?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Stoneridge Mall
Pleasanton, California
Overheard by: Stephen K
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That's Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn't he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It's a complicated story and we'll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
Girl #1, pointing to bag of peanuts: Are those your nuts?
Girl #2: No, they’re Bob’s* nuts.
[brief pause, then both girls begin laughing hysterically]Girl #1, after a few minutes: That was the stupidest thing ever.
Girl #2: You know you liked it.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: I laughed because I didn’t know what was going on
Hobo walking out of convenience store, tapping a pack of cigarettes to his hobo lady: I don't need you anymore. I got cigarettes.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Matt
