Professor: So, were you in this class before?
Man: Yeah — I dropped halfway through.
Professor: That’s right! You were the flake!
Man: I had open-heart surgery!
Las Positas College
Livermore, California
Professor: So, were you in this class before?
Man: Yeah — I dropped halfway through.
Professor: That’s right! You were the flake!
Man: I had open-heart surgery!
Las Positas College
Livermore, California
Asian Visual Studies professor: Why is the lotus flower significant in Buddhist art? The lotus comes from this muddy, icky swamp water, and then it pops up and blooms really big and it’s just beautiful, and you can’t believe something so beautiful could have come from this ugly place — it’s sort of like Liv Tyler, actually.
UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Girl in fitting room: These leggings are totally going to ruin my karma.
Forever 21
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lisa
Little girl to mother: Mommy, where's Aladdin?
Mother: He'll come soon, sweetie.
(repeats this for ten minutes)
Little girl, seeing Aladdin on the stage: Who is that?
Mother: Aladdin.
Little girl: Where's Jasmine?
Adventure Theater
Anaheim, California
High school girl #1, screaming: Oh my god!
High school girl #2: What happened?!
High school girl #1, pointing at girl #3: She just shoved her finger up my crotch!
Space Mountain line, Disneyland
California
Overheard by: bobbie the tortfeasor
Teenage girl #1 (suddenly): I wonder if there are strip clubs with just fat women.
Teenage girl #2: God, I hope so.
San Jose, California
Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
Communications major: What the hell is a palindrome?
English major: No, it isn't.
California State University
Fullerton, California
Overheard by: SixPackReich
Old woman: They don't make that many good movies nowadays.
Young girl: That's not true! Want to order Daddy Day Camp?
Ontario, California
Overheard by: none
Nonchalant dude on cell: My parents are dead, okay? Everyone’s dead, okay?
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Passing easily amused person
