California

Girl #1: Come on! Let’s go!
Girl #2, drinking her milkshake: Could you just be quiet for a minute? I’m kinda in the middle of an orgasm!

Fast food joint
Fairfax, California

Overheard by: slovett

Three-year-old: I have two daddies! I have two daddies!
Irritated mother, dragging child out of store: Come on.

Target
Merced, California

Overheard by: oh. my. god.

Older woman: Susie's daughter adopted two little Guatemalites… Guatemalians?
Younger woman: Guatemalans.
Older woman: Yeah, you know, from Guatemalia.
Younger woman: Uhhhh…

Sacramento, California

Teacher: Why are you guys talking back there?
Student: Oh, Roy*'s just talking to his eraser.

Los Angeles, California

Girl on train, not wearing earphones: Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Roma ro ma-ma! Gaga ooh la!
Girl across the seat: I will eat your uterus.

BART
San Francisco, California

Girl telling friend about dream: So then I was lying on a bed of beef jerky and my dad came up and his armpit hair was all white and fuzzy and that's when I realized I was gonna die.

Park
California

Gay man, pensively: I bet vaginas make excellent hand-warmers.

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Girl: So, it’s like this — a slut is a girl who says, ‘Look at my boobies,’ but a whore is a girl who says, ‘Touch my boobies.’
Friends: [Silence.]

Eleanor Roosevelt High School
Corona, California

Overheard by: trying to watch a performance

Screaming hobo: Your mouth is nasty! Your mouth is nasty, man! Your mouth is nastier than my asshole!

Shattuck Avenue and Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Native American girl: Yeah, when I was in kindergarten, I was the only Mexican in class. Well, except for Reema. She's Lebanese.

High School
San Diego, California