Clothes

Small boy: It’s fire!
His mother: That is your umbrella. It is not a sword or weapon of any kind.
Small boy: It’s underpants!

Trolley
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl in uniform: So when I went to pick up my uniform there were no skirts. So my mom was like “My daughter needs bottoms.”
Friend: That sucks!
Girl in uniform: Yeah, the skirt I’m wearing now belongs to this girl who was deported to Trinidad.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Myr

Female: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Child: Al Capone.
Female: But you're Al Capone every day.

Memphis, Tennessee

Hipster guy: Hey guys, this shirt's 100% organic. This shirt's made outta food! (quiet pause)
Hipster guy's friend: That is like, amazing.

Clothing Boutique
British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Lauren.

Woman to friend: You just lift up your shirt, look down, and there it is.

St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: J Menz

Guy holding up green shirt: It's never too early to start thinking about what you're going to throw up on next St. Patrick's day.

Gap Outlet
Alexandria, Virginia

Black girl to another black girl wearing Obama t-shirt: Girl, what is that on your shirt? Mmmm, Obama is looking all fine up on your chest.

UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina

Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!

Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado

Tall girl: Hurry up, I really have to pee.
Short girl in heels: Yeah, well, I'm about to hemorrhage through my skirt, so I win.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Girl #1: It's just such a gross look, y'know? And she totally didn't have the body for it either. Total crotch octopus.
Girl #2: Crotch octopus?
Girl #1: Yeah, you know. When the fabric clings… and shows all your goodies?
Girl #2: Do you mean camel toe?
Girl #1: Yes! Right! Camel toe! I knew it had something to do with animals and appendages!

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania